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aug 1 03

aug 1 03
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there's so much time, we're always talking about time, and all the times that you got drunk and forgot my name, even when i wrote it on your arm for you, along with your phone number and address so you'd find your way home in the morning. i'm gonna celebrate, bring this whole goddamned house into the pool water, all chlorine and sleeping bodies, shaking, in fits. you didn't do your laundry, you asshole, i can't believe you'd let all of this happen, you're all up on that wine and whiskey and fuck offs, i got your number in my pocket, i got your ideas in a locket and i'm going to throw it off the balcony, i can't stand this you're suicide, i love you too much for this patience. it's grey, i can't believe how grey we are, i can't believe how much i miss your voice it's not anything a telephone could settle for. your crying eyes are the last images on my memory, i hate that as my last memory of you, i want your arms inside my hair, do you know me do you feel me i drift through you when you're on rewinding spindles, i got your name in my chest vinyl sticker, drag, drag, drag of that vanilla cigarette, drag down that tower of pointlessness, i'm fading and you're in yesterday's water, saturday morning, that saturday when you let go, I CAN'T LET GO OF YOU, i'm howling at the moon, i'm howling at my footsteps, you're in the backseat of the car i'm in the sidewalk, paved in, i don't know who's walking on me all these faces i don't know who you are, it's august, i hate august, i hate august and it's all over the floor i have no way of stepping around it, what change is gonna occur, come on yeah and tell me, come throw me in the garbage i've been waiting all my life it's my place i won't change, are you content with the way you feel, are you feeling content with the way you feel, are you winding up are you letting down are you hitting the floor i don't believe you i don't believe you, what's with this fifth floor anatomy living in the attic, for a hobby, that's five dollars a night come on say something important say something you give a shit about this is all about soundlessness it's gold it's dancing in satellites i hate universal thought why are you such heroin, why are you all through my veins and affecting my head this way, what's with this blister in my paint, you're piled around me, and i'm in another country, i hate it when it's raining and you're not even there i hate it when it's raining and you're not even there a dream an idea singing freakish at 2am singing mother of love singing 1979 singing padriac my prince singing no need to argue whispering it's okay 4 cigarettes in ten minutes i can't stop breathing i want to stop breathing until you become oxygen
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