KOLKATA,WEST BENGAL, India
Tonight,as I was watching on the television a LIVE programme where psychiatrists TRY TO HELP EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT PEOPLE, I heard a 15 year old girl telling the psychiatrist on the phone that she is finding it very hard to concentrate on her school books ever since her mother died last year and I just could not control my tears.How I wished I could hold her in my arms and assure her that she is not alone,that there is someone out there to share her pain and give her all the strength that she needs.
I LEARNT A VERY VITAL LESSON AFTER MY MOTHER'S DEATH----NEVER WALLOW IN SELF PITY AND NEVER LET OTHERS SHOW YOU SYMPATHY TOO LONG BECAUSE IN THE LONG RUN YOU END UP LOSING MORE.
I am extremely fond of children.I realized my love for children after the birth of my younger brother,Boontoo, when I was ten.I loved cuddling him everytime he cried and enjoyed watching him grow.
After my mother's sudden death in 1981 when my younger brother was only seven,my father and I took special care of him and shielded him constantly from pain.He is a software engineer now and lives in Hyderabad, India with a very pretty wife and a very cute one year old son.After my father's sudden death from cardiac arrest in 1998,I found a suitable match for my younger brother and personally supervised all the wedding arrangements for him because I wanted again to shield him from the pain of losing a father he loved dearly and losing a girl friend to another man.However,there was nobody to shield me from the pain of losing a father I loved with all my heart and a very heartless and cruel husband who never loved me and was somehow responsible for sending my father to an early grave.So,I gathered all my courage and strength and ditched my husband,walked out on him and got involved with many responsibilities that lay staring infront of me.To begin with,I had to settle all the property matters because my father did not leave a will behind.However, since India is a country governed by corrupt politicians and all government servants are usually corrupt and thrive on bribes---I had to tread on very carefully at every step and got my job done without paying any bribes to any of the officials at all.Then,I enrolled into a multimedia school to obtain a diploma in the field of multimedia.At the same time,I started looking for a suitable bride for my younger brother and also obtained a divorce legally from my worthless husband.
Ofcourse,I did weep at times and I still do even now when I am alone and praying before God in a dark and empty room.But,I never like showing my pain to anyone else.I am deeply spiritual and have had some extremely spiritual experiences but as usual,I usually don't like sharing those experiences with everyone.
Children love me just as much as I love them.Believe it or not,I never ever spoil children with too many gifts and toys because that would eventually turn them into greedy ,selfish and demanding adults.On the contrary,I try to teach them how to love their school books,study hard and excel academically and I also try to inculcate in them the beauty of music and art and also exercise regularly to maintain their health.
I have an older brother,Booro,who lives in Oakland,California.He was extremely brilliant academically all through school(ofcourse,we all were academically bright)and was offered full scholarships from several American Ivy League Universities including the very prestiguous Massachusetts Institute of Technology,Boston,U.S.A and it goes without saying he opted for M.I.T after graduating from high school with flying colours.
PEOPLE SAY I AM BEAUTIFUL.But,I don't think I am as beautiful as I appear in the photographs----I believe that I am actually very photogenic and appear very attractive when I really wish to.BUT I AM VULNERABLE DEEP INSIDE AND ALWAYS SEEK WARMTH FROM REALLY SINCERE PEOPLE. I HAVE MANY UNFULFILLED DREAMS WHICH I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE MAN I FALL IN LOVE WITH.THEN WE CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER TO FULFIL OUR DREAMS.I LOVE PAINTING AND I WRITE POETRY.I LOVE LISTENING TO MUSIC,MY FAVOURITES BEING JIM REEVES,ELVIS PRESLEY,MATT MONROE AND PERRY COMO.ALTHOUGH,I MAJORED IN PHYSIOLOGY IN COLLEGE I AM OBSESSED WITH THE ARTISTIC THINGS OF LIFE.
Dreams donot always turn true but it is just sheer pleasure sometimes to dream and so,I often dream of my DREAM MAN WHOM I HAVEN'T MET TILL NOW. I still dream of that WONDERFUL DREAM GUY WHO WOULD LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY.I love dreaming of a DREAM GUY WHO WILL NEVER EVER MAKE MY BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES BLUE.I still dream of a DREAM GUY WHO WOULD APPRECIATE ME FOR WHAT I AM AND ENCOURAGE AND HELP ME TO PURSUE MY TALENTS.I still dream of THAT SPECIAL PERSON WHO HAS A HUGE HEART TO UNDERSTAND ME AND LOVE ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD.
I STILL DREAM OF THAT HANDSOME GUY WHO WOULD HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SHARE MY PAIN AND FRUSTRATION INSTEAD OF TELLING ME TO SHUT UP AND FORGET THE PAST.BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN SHARING ,RESPECT AND PROPER COMMUNICATION .
WISE MEN SAY THAT LOVE ENDURES WHEN LOVERS LOVE MANY THINGS TOGETHER AND NOT MERELY EACH OTHER--SO I BELIEVE MY DREAM GUY IS SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES EMOTIONAL LOVE POEMS AND PAINTINGS,LOVES LISTENING TO SWEET,OLD LOVE CLASSICS AND JIM REEVES ESPECIALLY,WATCHING SENTIMENTAL MOVIES ANDREADING BOOKS ON SPIRITUALITY AND PARA PSYCHOLOGY. I WOULD LOVE TO SNUGGLE UP TO HIM ON COLD,RAINY NIGHTS,STROKE HIS HAIR,SHOWER HIM WITH KISSES TILL SLEEP CARESSES US INTO SWEET DREAMS.I BELIEVE IN FALLING IN LOVE BECAUSE BEING IN LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL FEELING AND I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY DREAM GUY.
HYPOCRISY,CHEATING AND VIOLENCE BREAK MY HEART
I hate forgiving people who hurt me because hurt kills all the tender feelings that I nurture so lovingly towards the people I love.HURTING A PERSON WHO LOVES YOU is the same as killing a sapling that someone nurtures lovingly in the hope that it will grow someday into a splendid tree spreading its green foliage which will bear luscious fruits and lovely and colourful flowers.....
AT 45, I STILL LOOK BARELY 25.I WISH TO STAY EVERGREEN AND YOUTHFUL FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE AND IF I HAVE TO DIE MAY IT BE IN THE ARMS OF MY LOVING MATE WITH THE PROMISE ON MY LIPS THAT WE WILL MEET AGAIN IN OUR NEXT LIVES.-------
Interests: PARA PSYCHOLOGY,PAST LIFE REGRESSION,PLANCHETTE,MUSIC AND MEDITATION
Published writer: No