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Scarlett Landry


Vienna, Austria

Scarlett Landry was born in Sydney, Australia, but she has always wanted to move to Scandinavia. Her lifelong obsession with fantasy began at the age of seven, when accidentally found her way into Narnia through the back of a nondescript cupboard in her Aunt Mabel’s sitting room.

After spending her teenage years atop a floating barge in the middle of the Indian Ocean, Landry’s parents were tragically eaten by codfish, and she was left marooned upon a small island off the coast of Thailand. Forced to survive solely off of spam and strawberry jelly, she began to write fantasy novels to fill in the time. She was rescued after seven years by a tall man named Deight, whom she later married.

Upon returning to civilisation, Landry’s novels were discovered by a puffin that resided in her attic in Dorchester. The puffin later revealed to Landry and Deight that he was, in actual fact, the reincarnation of Sir Aurel Stein, and so Landry decided to take his advice and release her novels to the general public.

Landry lists her influences as ‘many and varied’. Her favourite authors, among many, are Isobelle Carmody, Juliet Marillier, Lynn Flewelling, J.R.R. Tolkien and Phillip Pullman. She highly reccomends that you read all or some of the books by these authors.

Scarlett Landry would also like to add that Fiona McIntosh is a truly awful author who ought to be shot for her poorly constructed plotlines, chunky yet flamboyant writing style and abysmal characterisation. Scarlett Landry would like to inform Ms. McIntosh that she could pull more intelligent books than 'Myrren's Gift' out of the bottom of a drain, or, failing that, out of a small lake at the least. Ms. Landry would also like to inform Ms. McIntosh that inserting the letter 'y' into an existing name does not make it more interesting, fantastic, or exotic. Ms. Landry would like to warn readers that, should they choose to embark on the gruelling, unrelenting and ultimately moronic journey that is 'Myrren's Gift', they are commiting themselves to six hundred and twenty seven pages of bowel jokes, medieval torture devices and painfully bad grammar. The books, Ms. Landry asserts, are sadly lacking in commas, semi-colons and witty deliveries. Ms. Landry warns fans of Ms. McIntosh's work not to come anywhere her own books, or, indeed, her home - even with a ten foot barge pole.

Landry and Deight now live in a small town in Austria with two cats and a cactus named Grègoie. She regularly goes on long and dangerous adventures in the Swiss Alps with Sir Aurel Stein, and has published two self-help books about how to mountain climb whilst losing weight.

*Editor's Note: Scarlett Landry refuses, for private reasons, to release her real name, but insists that her alias is actually an anagram. If the letters are rearranged in the correct order, her real name can be found.

Interests: George W. Bushbashing, mountain climbing, writing silly fantasy novels that nobody will ever publish.

Published writer: Yes

Freelance: No

 

Published works:

Fiction

  • Astrid of Scandia
  • Sentinent
  • Nonfiction

  • How To Mountain Climb Whilst Losing Enormous Amounts Of Weight