London, United Kingdom
Everything changed for me around the turn of the century when it became impossible to continue living the intolerable existence I had been up to then. I was dealt a personal share of tragedy this lifetime rather more intense than most people experience; dark shadows buried deep in the subconscious because that was the only way I was going to survive them. It was easy to concur with consensus agreements that I would do better by denying such things, and for a short while this was so. But eventually the denial became illness and threatened to finish me off. At that point I made the firm decision to heal myself and started to pray. Due to unseen hands pointing me always in the right direction, I began to get well. Healing became my focus above and beyond all other considerations, and still is.
The healing process became very quickly a spiritual awakening and I found myself in shamanic circles across the globe, doing regular fasting and meditation retreats and practicing an odd mix of traditional and modern belief systems without which my healing would not have been supported. I wrestled with the demons inside, stared at them directly in the eyes, saw them for what they were, and overcame.
At that time I wrote a long book cataloguing my experiences of the healing journey; how I had managed to uncover the cause of my ill health and undo it. However, I was still struggling with the shock of revelation and even though the book was funny and readable, it was deeply cynical with a tendency to rant at the glaring hypocrisies I was noticing in spiritual and healing practices across the board. I have a very analytical mind and I'm sensitive to incoherent thought and dishonesty, and nothing I had investigated or taken part in up until then was free of dodgy, unquestionable beliefs, or the pursuit of wealth alone, or blind and gullible acceptance to leaders, and even outright criminality in some cases.
Something told me not to publish and I had learned well enough by then to always take the advice coming from spirit, and so I instead recycled the paper and deleted the electronic versions. It was after I had ditched the book that ACIM (A Course in Miracles) found me. I had no idea what it was saying but from the first moment I started to read it I felt nourished in a way I had never experienced before so I kept going and have never looked back.
Life has continued since then, for better and worse, but whatever happens I go on joyfully with an inner certainty that everything is OK; that I am loved, protected and that nothing can ever hurt me again. Christ is my guide now, my big brother, and I turn to him with everything. In April of 2012 I made it to Israel. Sitting at the Western Wall felt like being plugged directly into God. I prayed to Sekinah there, 'Please help us Sekinah, please help us all to rid ourselves of the ego' (which if you're not aware is the essence of the teachings in ACIM). Quietly, a voice said, 'What's that?'
Hilarious! Wow. Spirit is so funny, what an amusing thing to say. And also, not only that; of course 'What's that?' Spirit doesn't know what the ego is, we created it ourselves!! Haha! Wonderful.
An amusing dinner party story for a particular sort of guest, I thought. In September of 2012 I visited Lourdes for a week to reconnect (I've been going regularly since around 2007 when I found myself miraculously directed there). I was sitting by the river in a café, having a coffee and a cigarette, and suddenly the title of the book came into my mind, followed by the chapter structure, all at once like a lightning bolt from the sky; a soft, kind and loving lightning bolt. And I knew that by writing this book, this book of the liar, I would be answering Sekinah's question.
I am Niramisa Weiss.
Interests: Saving the world.
Published writer: Yes