HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussionWritersNet Email
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: my story

  1. #1
    missy cintron
    Guest

    my story

    i actually started writing this because i was bored, but then it evolved over time because my friends wanted me to finish it...i still havent finished but i have alot written. here is an exerpt.....please be honest.


    Trees filled her view as she turned, looking for whatever led her there moments ago. She was chasing a blurred figure, her mind scrambling the image as she tried to focus it, never getting a clear view. Stumbling upon a clearing, she began scanning among the trees for a glimpse at the hidden silhouette that had guided her here. Her feet ached as she and she took a deep breath, her eyes still examining the trees. Leaves rustled overhead. She looked up slowly and saw the framed shadow of a person in the moonlight, staring down at her, yet she couldn’t make out any distinct features. As she struggled to focus her eyesight, she walked a step closer. She stumbled suddenly, as if the roots lifted, and she landed on her hands and knees. Dread flowed over skin her like a cold breeze. As she scrambled to her feet, the leaves above her shifted once more and she knew, without looking, that the indistinct person was gone. Turning, she ran on and on, fatigue filling her body, panic seizing her. All she could see now were trees and darkness, on and on…

    Kari woke with a start, her body drenched with sweat: her pajamas sticking to her arms and legs uncomfortably. Sitting up, the comforter pooled around her as she fought to control her breathing. Kari put her feet on the floor soundlessly and walked out of her bedroom, through the kitchen and out the back door. She stood on the back porch gazing up at the clouds as a light rain fell. Standing there for a moment she then stepped into the yard, and into the drizzle, hoping to wash away the remnants of the dream. Lifting her face to the sky, Kari replayed the image of the strange silhouette. She was pretty sure it was a he. Try as she might, she couldn’t place him, and soon the image faded. Kari shivered slightly and turned to face the house, her home. Walking on the moist grass and, paying no mind to her muddy feet, she walked back into the house, into her room. Pulling off her wet clothes and putting on fresh ones was done semi-consciously, as her mind struggled to make sense of the haunting visions. When Kari’s head hit the pillow, she gave herself over to her dreams once more.

    The loud bell had woken Kari from her daydreams, and she cursed silently. She stood, grabbing her bag, and walked quickly out of the classroom. Turning the corner, she stopped in front of her locker, putting her combination in easily. The lock sprang open as she tugged on it, pulling the door open at the same time. Dropping her bag to the floor, she knelt in front of her now open locker and began placing her books in it, taking her time; she had lunch next period. As Kari pulled up her knee length, dark brown hair into a ponytail to make the job easier, a shadow fell across her.
    “I’ll be done in a minute Tara,” she said without looking up.
    She began to exchange another book from her bag, when a voice above her said,
    “ I didn’t know I resembled a girl.”
    Her hands stopped pulling her books out as she looked up to see the face that belonged to the voice, her deep brown, nearly black eyes taking in his profile.
    “Sorry, I…”
    Her apology trailed off as she noticed the notebook in his hands. Her journal! She cursed herself for being so careless.
    “ You left this behind in English… I though you would like it back.” He said as he looked down at her, a twinkle in his forest green eyes.
    “ It made great reading material during History.”
    Kari stood quickly and slammed her locker door shut, maybe just a little too hard.
    “May I have that back now?” she asked as she turned; her voice had a tinge of anger.
    If he heard it, he didn’t show it. She titled her head her head up slightly to look at his face, hating the fact that he was taller than her. He handed the book to Kari as he spoke,
    “ By the way, I’m Evan, I just transferred here.”
    The truth is revealed, she thought sarcastically. He doesn’t know that I’m a person to be ignored, not yet anyway.
    “ Thanks. I’m Kari,” she said slowly as she glanced around for a reason to leave quickly.
    “ Well, I have to get to lunch,” she said as she turned to walk away.
    “What a coincidence, so am I,” Evan said as he fell into step beside her.
    Just great, Kari thought, but she said nothing as she quickened her pace, hoping to lose him. It was all a wasted effort however, because, for every two steps She took, Evan just took one long stride. Kari was short to begin with, and his height dwarfed hers.
    “ Where’d you learn to write like that? That story was fascinating.” Evan commented as they walked down the stairs.
    Without looking at him, she simply said, “I love to write,” and left it at that.
    As they walked into a crowd outside the cafeteria they got separated, a relief to Kari. She walked to the near-empty corner the lunchroom and sat at a table, across from a girl with shoulder length dark blond hair and steel-blue eyes.
    “ Hey Tara,” she said as she placed her bag under her chair.
    Kari looked across the table at Tara, noticing that she had stopped drawing, and seemed to be looking at something over Kari’s shoulder. It can’t be, she thought, just as Evan dropped into the chair next to hers.
    “Who’s this?” Tara asked suspiciously, while looking at Evan.
    “ This is Evan, he had found my journal.”
    One of Tara’s eyebrows rose at that, asking a silent question. Since when do you forget your journal, it seemed to say. Kari gave her a look to show that she would explain later. As their silent conversation ensued, Evan took the opportunity to grab Kari’s journal and continue reading. Tara looked shocked; no one read that notebook, except for her and Kari.
    “W…what are you doing?” she asked, outraged.
    Evan glanced up for a moment and responded.
    “ This is really good, and I want to finish it.”
    He looked down at the page again, leaving Tara speechless. Kari shrugged slightly and the dumbfounded look on Tara’s face, and began to eat her lunch.

    About half an hour later, Evan shut Kari’s journal and pushed it aside.
    “ That was intense.”
    He glanced at Tara before turning to Kari, as if he was looking for something.
    “Where’d you get the inspiration to write that?” he asked casually.
    Kari stared down at her hands as she answered.
    “My dreams. You could say I have an over-active imagination.”
    Kari glanced at Tara after she finished speaking. Tara seemed to feel Kari looking at her; her eyes glanced up and met Kari’s, waiting for Evan’s response.
    “Over-active or not, you can write great stories,” he replied, smiling easily.
    Inward, Kari felt relieved. Only Tara knows that Kari thinks what she writes is real, things that could be written off as fantasy. Only Tara could understand; only she has the same dreams as Kari.

    Tara began to sketch again after hearing Evan’s response. Evan leaned back in his chair, and, after looking around, noticed that they were the only ones sitting at the table.
    “Why are we the only ones sitting here? Is it because of me?” he asked with a curious, yet concerned voice.
    Kari laughed abruptly at his question. When he looked at her, confused, she replied harshly.
    “ Ask around and see what everyone thinks about us. Then you’ll think twice about hanging out with us.”
    She stood hastily, snatching up her things, and left. Tara watched Kari go; she put her eyes back on her drawing, ignoring Evan’s look of bewilderment. It was of a shadowed figure, bathed in moonlight.

    Kari was up the stairs and out of sight when she began to slow. One more class and she would be able to go home. She had reached her classroom, as the bell that signaled the end of class rang. Kari ducked inside, dodging the exiting students, and taking a seat in the back. She placed her things on the vacant desk next to hers, knowing it would stay empty. As the rest of the class filed in, and her math teacher began to discuss formulas, Kari struggled to stay awake. Her eyes were closing as she heard someone ask if the desk was in use. She shook her head, no; it wasn’t being used, before falling asleep.

    The trees surrounded her once more as she fought the claustrophobic feeling she received in the pitch black forest. Kari glanced around for a way out, but there wasn’t one to be seen. She fell to her knees and screamed softly. Kari felt a hand on her shoulder and then…



  2. #2
    Kimberly Farish
    Guest

    Re: my story

    Wow! I really liked it and could envision the characters as I was reading. You have a great talent.

    Kimberly



  3. #3
    missy cintron
    Guest

    Re: my story

    thank you. This was an excerpt. I actuall am about halfway through it, and my friends force me to write more, not that i complain. I love writing...it makes me happy, and it apparently makes the readers happy as well!



  4. #4
    Kimberly Farish
    Guest

    Re: my story

    Keep going!



  5. #5
    missy cintron
    Guest

    Re: my story

    I will...



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts