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  1. #1
    Jugal Mody

    "Falling" in Love

    The day I signed in with WritersNet I also sent in an article to be published online. The other day I recieved an email from WritersNet saying that I should publish it here to get better reviews and responses from other members. So I am putting it up here.
    The piece is a non fiction article. This can be called just another POV (Point of View). I take writing as a form of expression and so express myself so you may find quite a few things to be really weird in this... I would be more than happy to be criticised by you people.

    'Falling' in Love

    Well the topic that I wanted to write on, but couldn't write on.
    The topic that claims it is too deep for me to swim to the other side.
    The thing that challenged my mental limits. The thing I could not complete as one person. I needed the other side to it. The thing not possible to study without hormonal defects. Perhaps after living on an estrogen diet for 6 months I would have been able to tell things, but then is that how we treat infected waste?
    (all this with a little help from a good friend, though the frnd was always agains what I wanted to say, and that is where it also helped me analyse this topic deeper and further inside, and well the rabbit hole does go deep, but then people gemerally just get out after they get through the gate and cannot find the bottle of that potion)

    Somethings are deeper than they seem, while somethings are just dark, or perhaps in the dark that they seem shallow. I was astonished at the truth. Perhaps it might not be the truth after all.
    Perhaps people may call me a fool, but I prefer calling them one too.

    Misguided in to the light,
    Of hormonal games,
    They wished to seek Love,
    To fill their Lives,
    To fill their so filled up lives and minds,
    Which they so foolishly assumed to be empty.

    True Love, is not
    What you fall into,
    True Love is what you look for,
    True Love is what you recognize,
    Not for its face value,
    but for What lies underneath YOU.

    The farther you try to run from it,
    The farther it runs away from you,
    No, Love is not like God...
    You never know when you are in Love,
    Sometimes, the one you love and the one,
    Who Loves you aint the same person.

    Your Love is you,
    Deep inside whatever you are,
    Is what your Love is,
    The minute you change to Love,
    Your insides are shattered,
    And so is your Love.

    Perhaps you have a craving for Love, from that other half of humanity, but then balance it with your minds...

    Well , I also agree to the fact that the opposite sex factor brings sort of a stability in life. But then think twice. One wrong move and you are inviting instability, and you will fall farther from stability than you currently are. And I am not saying that, dont fall in Love, please dont try to misinterpret the statement, which I know all of you who are reading this will be more than eager to.

    Well, cause it all lies in what you believe. You believe it is simple, it will be simple. You believe it will be tough, it will be an ordeal, it will be so. Love is ur innerself, which you bring out through either yourself or through a medium which you see, and are attracted to, the medium which sometimes your hormones help you select. Love is truly you from the inside. Knowing yourself is Loving. When you know yourself and Love you tend not to make mistakes.

    There are two types of people in the whole world, (maybe more but I could so far differentiate only 2 of them). There are people who Love themselves and people who look forward to be loved from the outside. The other category which I think could be and I am not too sure of, is the people, who dont care about this, live a dreamless life. So coming back to the two people we are talking about. The person who loves himslef, has found Love in himself and can be an unconditional lover. The other one, lives like a black hole, trying to suck every little emotion of Love towards him/her to get Love. This sort of is the hardcore definition of the second category. There could be milder people in this case. There are people who havent found Love in themselves, look out for Love... Love is not something you look out for. well there could be this day where you are really lucky and you might end up bumping into it, while you are searching for it, but the probability is really less.

    When you think about a person, as in whether or not the person is right for you or not, you only think when you sort of have a really intense feeling of attraction towards him/her. But the thing is we always ask ourselves the wrong question. Because when we like someone and we ask ourselves whether that person is the best for us, we end up being positive about it, we do think a lot, but that thinking is only done to silence down all the things that out conscience is screaming at us, as it is pointing out the negative aspects of the whole situation. Instead try thinking this way about it, try thinking that whether you are the best person for that person. Think whether you will be able to meet up to what he/she wants out of life.

    Now we will come back to that later. Now assume a situation, you are in love(conventional definition) with this guy/girl from your class/college/neighbourhood/etc. And you havent yet told that person. Now the thing that most of you will do at this point is, befriend the person, get along with that person, hang around (with) him/her. Then one fine day just speak your heart out. Well now the thing is, that both of you are confused. He/she might accept it, because everybody wants that to happen someday, somebody coming and telling them what they just heard. There could be other reasons. But then the main question at this point is, do you know the other person well enough? All these days you have been seeing the good qualities of the person and you were blinded enough not to see the bad qualities. To have relationship with someone essentially means to cope up with his/her bad qualities that no one else can live with. Good ones, everybody loves and everybody can live with them. And moreover if the good qualities also vibe in, bingo, you are lucky. But then as everyone else assumes, good things are not the things that make up a relationship. It is the ability to vibe in with the anomalies of the person that makes you cherish a relationship. Tolerance and communication is what can be called in the base the rest you make it for yourself. Invasion of Space and Lack of Logic is what has to be overcome or else it will never be what you want it to be. There has to be this certain amount of freedom and lack of hesitation in the relationship.

    The relationship can only be genuine only when you grow around each other. In the normal case I doubt if it is so. Nobody gives it time enough. Come on, Gimme a break, everything cannot be fast track. It is sort of, when before speaking, when you think that whether what will his/her reaction to this whole thing be, and how will it affect my impression on him/her, well then BANG! you're living one big lie. The relationship cannot just start off with both of you seeing and liking each other then saying, "I Love You" and then presenting gifts and flowers and you are flying in an aeroplane whose fuel tank is just about empty and CRASH! well not always though, sometimes you might get a runway closeby for a smooth landing and things might just work out for you. A relationship can take years, to work out. It is never a spontaneous process. Maybe you like the person, and are attracted, but to LOVE him/her you have to KNOW that person. So before just blindly commiting, isn't it a good option to wait and grow around him/her and vice versa and if the response is positive, well you have it.
    Being in love doesn't need any sort of a declaration. When both of you are in Love, then there is a sort of bond and pact, between the both of you, well, and to satisfy your mind, one day both of you will agree to the fact that you are in love. But then this is more of a 'pact', a 'bond' and not a 'proposition' placed forth to be accepted or rejected. That makes it sort of professional and commercial. This is not a product you are out to sell, nor a tender that needs to be passed. It is your life, you are talking about.

    In the first phase of any friendship and specially when you befriend that person to 'fall in love' with him/her you tend to show the best in yourself, in fact for the first few days also you will be like glowing and be perfect. But you are changing yourself, you are changing the whole structure from the top, whose base from the ground is different. You have grown up, to be something after all these years in life. And when you stretch yourself to suit somebody else's needs, you tend to try to change the structure from ther surface. Now you know this is logically impossible, then why try? The basic thing is that ability to comply. VIBE IN are the right words, perhaps, FIT IN sounds good too. How long will you remain what you are not? How long can you putup an act? And if it is all an act then the basic definition of a 'Love' relationship is screwed. What sort of confindence will it generate when you are not even yourself? And every moment you are running from yourself trying to be what someone else wants you to see as. And then everytime you fall in Love, sing this song, a famous love number from Bryan Adams, "Inside Out"... means a lot

    Well I seem to be losing out on a very important aspect of everything related to LOVE, the last time, when I got up after finishing this piece, I went back to doing one of my regular jobs... and then just happened to be listening to music, a cassette of mine, and as tracks rolled by...on a particular moment, I just had stopped and taken a short break... "Wise men say, Only fools Rush in, but I can't help falling in Love... with you" sang the leads from UB40, this old Elvis song, seems to have a wrong mood when the King sings it, but then UB40 added a better meaning to the whole thing. The mood of the whole song made the whole song more sensible. And then, "Aha!" as to what the scientists call the 'aha' effect. So you realise that you have fallen in Love and life has become difficult... well, so live upto it... See this is where I was talking about hormones acting, the rest of this whole thing was actually just a mature way of dealing with it. So you want to tell her/him what you feel, ok but remember 'haste makes waste', firstly get close to her, all the time you spend staring at her and thinking love, stay with her/him, let her/him know you. Then just say it. and if both of you agree on it, the forst condition of that relationship should be, that both of you should just be friends, very close friends, cause if you manage to do that, then loving her is what you are doing, so now you are also in a relation, and also knowing your partner, also not as much attached that might cause pain afterwards if things dont work out. And the key point being don't dream, never dream to far or too ahead of what you can get. Just live it up. And be happy because you are in Love. Never ever when you are in Love should there ever be a sad moment. In fact everytime you are sad from other reasons in life, you are sure, you have someone to give you that hug, you have a support. (Well sounds a bit to romantic and melodramatic but then this really works, touch therapy.)

    So finally with no suitable conclusion to the whole thing, Love is an infinite feeling, to deep to give a conclusion to, just like there cannot be a definition of boundaries to Love, I leave this piece wihout one... there is no stop, go on, read through the empty space below, you will find more in yourself than you can ever find in the all the matter that has been written above.

  2. #2
    Karen Colby

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    That is nice, I mean its more than nice but like a higher form of nice. It's brilliant, I have no idea how old you are but you seem to have an amazing grasp on this topic and for that I am envious of you. Your piece is wonderful, a few typos, but I really really like it.
    Karen Colby

  3. #3
    Mary M.

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    This is a very introspective piece and I think its title could be changed to "Being in Love."

    Continued good luck with your work!

  4. #4
    Jugal Mody

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    Thank you very much, Karen.
    This just made my day. It just feels so nice to be appreciated, "not just nice, a higher form of nice" No, seriously that was flattering. I never have been appreciated so very much. To tell you the truth I am at what you can call a 'loss of words'. I dont know how to thank you lady.
    Good Luck for whatever you do.


    [P.S.: I am 19]

  5. #5
    Jugal Mody

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    Thank you very much, Mary.
    Thanx about the suggestion. But I sort of like the "Falling" in the title because that is the conventional word used for it by everyone around (thus I used it in quotes). Plus PUN.
    Good Luck to you too.


  6. #6
    Karen Colby

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    Well at 19 you are far wiser than most men, maybe you should teach a class. Keep up the good work.Do you have a place where someone could read more of your stuff?
    Sincerely, Karen Colby

  7. #7
    Jugal Mody

    Re: "Falling" in Love

    Thank you for your kind words.
    Well Karen, I started blogging at a site that I created for myself and for 'people' whom I thought would read stuff that I write (then I also started working on my first novella which kept me sort of busy and finally the book is over), you can find a few old posts there, maybe if people begin to read then I can start posting again.
    This is just to warn you, I generally like to write about things that have close resemblance to reality and defy convention. This was one of my more subdued pieces. lol.
    So tell me if you like the stuff on the site. (It sure has some excessive angst in it)

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