Am I Over Complicating Things?

[jayce]

Three paragraphs is a goal, but not at the expense of clarity. (Evil Editor gave thumbs up today on a query that has several paragraphs.)

Provide a bio paragraph only if you have paid writing credits. As for the job experience thing, that would apply if you were a district attorney who had written a criminal courtroom drama, or an Iraq war veteran who had written a combat novel. But for us ordinary sh!t kickers, even though our protag is drawn from our own real life experiences, the biographical connection is irrelevant and distracting.

For a jillion hook and query examples, you might try scrolling through <http://misssnark.blogspot.com/>. This blog is no longer active, but it's still a valuable source of agent and publishing info.

Good luck.

[Joe Zeff]

Rick, the paragraph I referred to starts, "This is the first novel I have completed..." It doesn't belong.

Also, has anybody other than you or your wife read the book? If not, it's probably a good idea. You'd be surprised how many things you can miss because you know what's going on, even though it makes no sense to anybody else.

[Rick Armstrong]

Rick, the paragraph I referred to starts, "This is the first novel I have completed..." It doesn't belong.

Also, has anybody other than you or your wife read the book? If not, it's probably a good idea. You'd be surprised how many things you can miss because you know what's going on, even though it makes no sense to anybody else.

Joe, that part has been scratched.

I have no one else to proof read it other than my wife. She went through it as I was writing the final draft on a chapter by chapter basis. Between the 2 of us, we have eliminated all of the red and green underlined passages that indicate spelling and grammar errors with the exception of stylized dialogue. We are now going through it together page by page looking for typos that Word won't catch.

[gulliver h]

Ok. fine and good. But that is not revising. Rewriting. By any definition. Your wife, etc.

A novel is a hard thing to write. Well.

It's more than typos...a lot. I assume you know that.

[Rick Armstrong]

Author: gulliver h (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date: 09-15-07 00:31

Ok. fine and good. But that is not revising. Rewriting. By any definition. Your wife, etc.

A novel is a hard thing to write. Well.

It's more than typos...a lot. I assume you know that.

Actually, it has been through a partial re-write as I wrote the first 6 chapters a few years ago. Then came revisions, the fine tuning, then the polish. One thing I have learned about myself in regard to writing is that I could revise and polish forever, but at a certain point I have to look at what I have and say "This is good as it stands." That is the point where I begin to question if it is really "polish" or if its just change for the sake of change.

My last step in writing has always been one final readthrough where I force myself to keep editing to ONLY correcting typos. That is where I am at right now.

[Dale Day]

I found a great website for query letters. QueryTracker.com!
It not only lists agents but lets you select ones that might be interested in your book, allows you to see what they want and then has a section where you can keep track of your queries. They also have a great discussion forum. There are advanced features that one has to pay for but the main stuff is free and great. Give it a try.

[Joe Zeff]

I'm not talking about typos or grammar, Rick. I'm talking about jumps in the story that you won't notice because you know what's happening. I'm talking about dialog with too few tags, where it's easy for a reader to get out of sync. I'm talking about logic problems, continuity issues and other problems. It's very hard for you to spot them all because, as I've already pointed out, you know exactly what you mean. Unless you're far more experienced than either you or I, you need to have at least one, preferably more, people who don't have any idea what's happening read it and let you know what problems you have. Then, rewrite, taking their suggestions into account. Lather, rinse, repeat until there are no more issues.

You've seen the process going on here with queries, or if not yet, you will if you keep following this site. It's exactly the same with the book itself.

[gulliver h]

Joe's right, of course. If you've never written a novel it can be hard to see structural problems (which will exist, I promise you)--no matter how many times YOU or loved ones read it. Hey, you may the first guy who's done it right and great out of the gate, but it's always a good idea to have another critical (unrelated to you) eye pass over it before you send it out into the hard, cold world...(because you run the risk of wasting agents and a lot of time and heartache)

[Smiling Curmudgeon]

I think your query is flat, passive. (As an aside, that makes me wonder if your mss is, as well.) There are other issues too.

Here's a few examples---

Consider something like "the horror" instead of "a conflagration."

You use hate and hatred almost back-to-back.

"a cross country trip requires considerable preparation and the toil of many hours" is really passive.

"They must battle..." They battle...

"off of the fabled Route 66" is awkward. Maybe, "off fabled Route 66"

"But all was not well." Arghh. Cliche. It doesn't add anything to your Q. Delete it.

"highwaymen" Unless the language in your tale uses antiquated terms throughout, use a different word.

"could be around any corner" Passive. Consider are around every corner. "Around any/every corner" is cliche.

Consider, "where prairie meets desert."

"news that offer the possibility" Give the reader something stronger here.

"overwhelming odds" Give your reader an idea what those odds are.

"in hiding" Consider "hiding."

Delete the paragraph beginning "This is the first..." Your engineer experience isn't relevant to whether you can write.

I'm sure I sound harsh. Don't take it that way.

Keep on.

cur