Quote Originally Posted by P.T. DUNN View Post
Also, I'm having trouble walking the line between pitching the query vs presenting a mini-synopsis...
A synopsis is a summary of your main story beats (particularly the turning points) from A through Z. Everything is revealed. The purpose of a synopsis is to demonstrate to an agent that you have indeed written a complete story. Not all agents ask for them.

A query letter is a different beast. Its sole purpose is to entice an agent into asking for more material (writer-speak for asking to see more of the novel). In the words of Evil Editor: "A query letter should be ten sentences that focus on the main character: Who is he, what he wants, what's stopping him, what he plans to do about it."

In reading your query, I don't get a clear sense of those four elements. Try writing a sentence for each, and build from there.

Good luck.