HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 3 4 5
Results 41 to 48 of 48
  1. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Mutt View Post
    Really, why are you married to this scenario so much? It's garbage.
    What about this: intersect your story at the point where your hero cop spies the blood-in, sees the fake hostage with the gun to the head, all that good stuff; he calls for backup, and his dispatcher (or whoever) says, "We got a riot going on in South Side, you'll have to deal with it yourself"; so hero cop runs around the park, looking and chasing, whatever, and everybody gets away; and he goes home or to a bar, frustrated at being a cop or whatever dynamic your story needs. Period.



  2. #42
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Well what's wrong with having a getaway car. When it comes to recruiting a new member for a blood in, why would the gang bring their own cars? What if the new recruit turned out to be an undercover cop, and he decided to bust the the blood in, in order to save the victim from potentially getting killed? If he was an undercover cop and had back up nearby secretly surveying him, then why would the gang want to bring their own cars, when it comes to having to escape? If a cop saw the plate number, the car could be traced back to the owner. So why not use getaway cars, that cannot easily be traced like that?

    I don't have to be married to the scenario. Perhaps there is a better scenario out there. Basically for my story, in order to build into the ending I want, I want to two things to happen.

    1. The main character cop, needs to have a victim of a crime who he finds out later was in on it with the gang all along.

    2. The new blood in recruit, failing to do the blood in, can no longer be trusted, and ends up betraying the gang.

    So is there a better scenario in order to build into these two things happening? This is the dynamic my story needs to go where I want it to go.
    Last edited by ironpony; 09-11-2016 at 10:11 AM.

  3. #43
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    jayce out

  4. #44
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    Maybe you just need a new ending.

  5. #45
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Well I was told that the ending is good where it is, I have tried a lot of endings, and this is the best one. I think I just maybe need a new beginning to build into it. Well in order to find out what the problem is, in the opening scenario, you say that the woman would tell police it was all fake right away. However, why would she do this, before the chase is over?

    She does not know which gang members are going to be caught if any. One is caught, but she does not know that yet, and has to wait to hear from the gang leader as to what lie to tell that will hold up. Why is she going to sake it was all fake before the chase is over, since she doesn't know what is going to happen. Whatever happens, could cause problems in whatever story she would tell, so why doesn't she wait, to hear from the leader, after they found out what is what, and what has happened? This can help me determine where the story should go more so. So why is she telling the story right away, not knowing what has happened yet, and if her story will be effected as a result?

    Like let's say that during the gang members escape, they do not want the police to find out who they are. What if during the chase, the gang accidentally drives over an innocent person and kills them... The woman might have to alter her story as a result to this, or it could be something else entirely that happens, that would cause her to have to alter her story? So why is she choosing to tell the police they were just friends who were rollplaying right away, before waiting till all the facts are in? This is why I am having trouble believing she would tell the police it was rollplaying right away, cause no one commented on the fact, that she doesn't have all the facts of the chase and escape yet.
    Last edited by ironpony; 09-11-2016 at 10:22 AM.

  6. #46
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    It's like arguing with a 5year old.

  7. #47
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Mutt View Post
    It's like arguing with a 5year old.
    I would agree if I hadn't checked out already.
    Last edited by jayce; 09-11-2016 at 11:30 AM.

  8. #48
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Well I could write it so that the woman says it was all roleplaying right away. However, according to my research, I am told by lawyers and police that the problem with a her covering up for the suspects who took off, is that covering up for someone can have legal consequences, if she is lie about how she doesn't know who they are. If they find out she is lying, it can be used against her as evidence. Where as if she remains silent, the police have no evidence to chew one, since she is not risking being caught in a lie. So isn't better for her to exercise her legal right to remain silent, instead of lying to cover up the others?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts