HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 48
  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Yes the gang does have a rival. But it's not another gang. It's the police. But they don't feel the need to kill any police officers at this point, as that would just cause problems, especially since none of the police know who they are at this point in the story. As far as having other rival gangs, no other gangs are aware of who this gang is. They have heard stories if kidnappings in the news, but they are not going to go out and search for this gang, who's crimes are not connected to them.

    And they do end up having a traitor later on. It's the new blood in recruit. But this is later that he ends up betraying them and not now. So at this point there is no rival, which they feel the need to kill any enemies, since leaving dead bodies means trouble with the police, and there is a traitor later, but not now.

    When you say exposition though, what kind of exposition? Just a lot of explanation, or do you mean something else?
    Last edited by ironpony; 09-11-2016 at 05:14 AM.



  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    What's the premise of your story?… In one sentence.

  3. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    One sentence, hmmm...

    A cop will do anything to stop to stop a gang of violent kidnappers that are terrorizing society?

    It's not the most original wording of such a premise, but I feel that's what it is technically.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    That works. You can heighten it by being more specific. Who is the cop (a renegade cop, terminally ill cop)? What is the "anything" (shoot the mayor, take over city hall)? You get the idea. (My current WIP is, "A homeless ex-con finds a trove of stolen gold bars.") A premise helps keep the story development focussed.

    "Exposition" as in explaining the story instead of having it flow causally from one beat to the next. The worst forms of exposition are the "As you know, Bob" variety. Example: "As you know, Bob, that pistol has a blank round in the chamber so we won't really kill someone." it's telling instead of showing.

    As to your gang set-up, I guess I don't understand how the cops could form a gang but not "... feel the need to kill any police officers at this point." (emphasis added) Is this your main character who'll do anything? or is it the kidnappers? Either way it strains credulity.

  5. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Okay thanks. But I didn't mean to imply that the cops form a gang. When I said that the gang's only rival was the police, I meant the police department in general. I did not mean a group of police who have formed a gang.

    The main character is one of the cops who wants to bring the gang down. The main character who finds the gang doing the blood in, and rescues the fake hostage. Basically the blood in scenario is what I have to get the plot started. There has to be a suspect who, gets away with it, on not enough evidence, and the arrested gang member, along with the fake blood in hostage victim, are the two suspects, that the MC has to go off of, in order to dig deeper into the web of crime, if that makes sense.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    If the "blood in" is fake, then there's no crime, hence no one gets arrested.

    Right?

  7. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Well there is an arrest at first, since the cop manages to arrest one of them while saving the false victim. The others get away.

    The police believe that the kidnappers who got away, had more up their sleeves and they had something to hide, especially since they were careful enough not to leave any finger prints at the scene, and they switched getaway cars, to a new car, while covering up any physical evidence in the original car. So the cops think that there is more going on, than what the suspect and the false victim are telling them. Even though there is no crime, the police find the erasure of evidence, and well planned get away, for the members that resisted arrest and escaped, suspicious.

    However, after the fake victim tells the court that no kidnapping ever happened, and that the cop was mistaken, the prosecutor is going to ask her who the other people she was with who got away. I want her to come up with a lie, or a legal reason why she does not have to tell the court, or the police, who the other members are. I want her and the defendant to get away, since no kidnapping actually happened, but I want them to not have to give away who the others are, and walk out.

    How could I write it, so this can legally happen?
    Last edited by ironpony; 09-11-2016 at 07:45 AM.

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,142
    Quote Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
    Well there is an arrest at first.
    An arrest for what?

  9. #19
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    91
    Kidnapping related charges, since the cop saw the men with a tied up hostage, and managed to arrest one of them, while the others got away. So that's the arrest at first.

  10. #20
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    What jayce is saying is that a phony kidnapping isn't something you can arrest anyone for as no one would press charges if it's fake.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts