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  1. #1
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    Is their a way I can get readers to believe this scenario?

    I got some feedback from readers, where they didn't believe the scenario in my thriller.

    A cop goes undercover to infiltrate a gang, but they said that it's not believable because the cop is from the same city as the gang and the police department would bring in someone from a different city, to avoid the gang, not ever recognizing the person from somewhere.

    However, I have seen several works of fiction where they do the same thing, and I would assume that in a big city, the police count on the criminals not knowing everyone, since a lot of other works of fiction, bet on the same assumption.

    However, does this come off as a plot hole, like the feedback suggests, I was wondering? Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.



  2. #2
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    I see that kind of thing all the time on TV. I have never read any thriller books, so I don't know how to help you in that regard. How many readers do you have? Did they all agree it wasn't believable?
    "Don't try to control the reader, just help them along." -- my mom

  3. #3
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    Three of them had a problem with it so far. One of them said not to go by TV or other examples you see before, since every scenario is different though, so maybe I shouldn't?

  4. #4
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    Have you done research on what police in real-life do? If your story is realistic, all you have to focus on is helping the readers to understand that.
    "Don't try to control the reader, just help them along." -- my mom

  5. #5
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    I've attempted to do a lot of research but when it comes to undercover work, the police will not tell you anything out of policy. I have asked many and they all said no. They will tell you things other things about their jobs, but when it comes to the real tactical and surveillance stuff, they will not discuss it. Even books I have read talk about many things but hold back in that area, which is the most important area, for writing this story.

  6. #6
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    Hmm, well, you're writing this as a script, right? Do you know of any movies with undercover police? Frankly, I don't find the idea so unbelievable, especially if it's a large city. How many times do you see in a movie/TV show where a person will put on a disguise and hide among people who know them? Heck, even Superman only had to put on glasses and gel his bangs back! There's always a certain amount of unbelievable things in action flicks. Let's face it, even in the most serious movies guns often have unlimited ammo and crack-shots miss 5 out of 6 times from ten feet away. The trick is to make the movie (or in this case, script) enjoyable enough that the viewers/readers just don't care. If the police can't give you info on how undercover stuff is done, make up your own! It's called using your creative license
    "Don't try to control the reader, just help them along." -- my mom

  7. #7
    Rogue Mutt
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    Do you know of any movies with undercover police?
    There are only hundreds of thousands of movies, TV shows, and books about undercover police. Heck The Departed was based on a movie called Infernal Affairs. Miami Vice the movie was based on Miami Vice the TV show. It's not hard to find one.

  8. #8
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    I know it's not hard to find one. I just don't know if Ironpony knows of one he likes enough to use as a "mentor." After all, I have no idea what his TV habits are like!
    "Don't try to control the reader, just help them along." -- my mom

  9. #9
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    The problem may not be the one they stated. It might be that your character doesn't read as real, so the situation isn't convincing.

    Post a few hundred words to see.

  10. #10
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    I think it depends on the size of the city. If it's pretty small, say less than 100K residents, then I think any gangs would probably know most of the police. Columbus is 800k. Our police has over 1,800 officers. Now what are the odds gang members would know them all given their penchant for avoiding them? I think the larger the city, the more believable an undercover cop from the same city could infiltrate a gang.

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