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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2015

    Which of these two openings works better to get the plot going in motion?

    For my story, I want the police officer to stop a 'blood in' from happening. A blood in is a term used by police for when a gang recruits a new member. In order for that new member to prove their worth, they have to spill the blood of another person, hence the term.

    However, in case the blood in, doesn't work, and the new recruit happens to be an undercover cop, or happens to be trouble that will rat on the police, the gang has the blood in, faked. The victim for the blood to be spilled is actually a member of the gang posing as a victim.

    The new recruit will be given a gun, loaded with a dummy round (a round with no gun power in, but is otherwise a real bullet), and then the new recruit will be encouraged to shoot the victim. But in this case the victim will not actually be shot, and it will be faked, by the gang and the victim, working together.

    However, I want the blood in to be busted by a cop. The cop saves the victims and arrests one of the perps, but the others get away, as he keeps her safe.

    Later on, when the police and prosecutor are investigating, trying to come up with a case, the victim tells them that no attempt on her life, ever occurred and the police are mistaken. She says that they were all acting and making an amateur video. Why the other guys ran out off they have no idea she says.

    The perp that is arrested, does not say anything, since it's up to the police to prove him guilty, and they cannot do that, with a fake victim who is playing the part of not really being a victim at all, and saying that no crime was committed, and that the police are mistaken.

    If the amateur video, is a bad lie, she can use another one, if there is a better one.

    So the police are forced to let her and the perp go, and after surveying them both for a while, and coming up with nothing, they decide that the arresting officer, was probably mistaken, and they close the case.

    However, I need a way for the cop to come across the blood in. I am thinking that maybe he can be undercover. The police are investigating the gang for some time but do not know who any of the members are. So the police come up with a plan for a new recruit, to advertise himself to the gang, without knowing who they are, such as coming up with a fan website, for a few months, and eventually gaining some trust and making contact, or something like that.

    But he would have to make contact in a way, in which he did not know who any of the members are for the story to go where I want it to go.

    Or he could stumble upon the blood in by accident, while on patrol. There is another new recruit, in the blood in at the time, and the cop intercepts it, arrests one of them, and saves the victim. Thus resulting in the same outcome. Or would it?

    In the first outcome, would the police believe that the cop had made a mistake about the suspects being bad, compared to the second scenario? Would they drop the case, more likely in the first or second scenario?

    The disadvantage of the cop stumbling upon it by accident, is that it's asking the reader to accept a big coincidence. What are the odds that the gang would have a fake blood in set up for a new recruit, in case he is an undercover cop, and then all of a sudden a real cop happens to be there, and the gang is able to substitute their plan on the cop so conveniently?

    A third option would be for the new recruit to be someone else, and not the cop, but he gets cold feet about the blood in and does not want to see the victim be harmed. So he decides to call 911, which would have the cop be dispatched to check it out. However, the new recruit would have to call 911 without the gang knowing which would be really tough since they would be watching him the whole time, and probably logically take his phone away maybe?

    Basically the end result I want is, is that the cop's superiors believe he didn't have enough to go and drop it, so he becomes obsessed and wants to find out more on his own.

    What do you think is best way to start that situation off and get the cop there? Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it.
    Last edited by ironpony; 01-24-2016 at 04:23 PM.

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