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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Oberon View Post
    I am still somewhat hot.
    Hormonal?



  2. #52
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Nah...just devastatingly handsome.

  3. #53
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    So the author of the flash plainly explaining that something profound has happened and the people are abandoning the house, not moving,
    That's not even hinted at. They say only that the house is empty. And as presented, until the last line it appears that the people who lived there are moving, with an unknown destination. And it's not even hinted at that they're abandoning the house. For all we know was a rental and they gave notice. You're projecting your knowledge of the conclusion back onto the story, as if the reader would know it as they read, to make the story fit your definition. That's cheating
    And if food became scarce for you, it wouldn't indicate the least bit of extremity?
    Starving is extreme. No food is extreme. Scarce is indeterminate, and what's scarce for one person might be the week before payday to another. Again, you're projecting to try to make your requirement a fit for that story. There is a great difference between extreme and serious.
    And neither would selling your possessions to the point that you could pack what you have left in a car?
    Nowhere does it say, or even hint that all their goods are in the car. Everyone who moves has the situation where the goods are packed. And in most cases, when the house stands empty it's packed into a moving truck. You're certainly free to take any interpretation you care to, as am I. But the words have a meaning that the reader assigns, based on their interpretation of them. So if there are equally valid alternates you cannot insist that only yours is definitive.
    And the fact that they're leaving at night instead of in daylight?
    Where does it say, or hint, that they left at night. It says only that the critical event happened at night.

    I know you really, really want to prove that flash fiction must involve extreme conditions. But this story won't do it. And in the end you're backing off to having the story at least hint at an extreme situation. While this is fun, I don't think we're going to find anything more than, "this is how I view it."

  4. #54
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Jay, read the author's own words:

    'We begin with a car ride through a strange area to set the environment. The middle lets the reader know something profound has happened and sets up the conflict. The family can’t afford food or their home. What can they do to resolve this problem? To cut costs, they abandon both the house and the family pet. In the end, the confused feline watches the car continue on without her."

    Do you see that? Something profound has happened. They can't afford food or their home. They're not moving; they ABANDON the house and pet. That's extreme. That's the author saying that. Do you know something the author doesn't? And I don't know about you, but when I see tail lights fading in the distance, I know the car has them on and I'm able to see them because it's night.

    Good grief.
    Last edited by John Oberon; 01-09-2016 at 02:46 PM.

  5. #55
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    'We begin with a car ride through a strange area to set the environment.
    Unfamiliar isn't strange. I drove through an unfamiliar neighborhood when I moved, and it seemed pretty benign to me. To say that even most people would read the word unfamiliar and hear the word strange in their head, or even have that implied is reaching. Had the author wanted the word strange that's the word that would appear in the story. You don't get to rewrite to make it fit your rule. The only one hearing ominous music as they read that word is you.
    The middle lets the reader know something profound has happened
    Again, you're making it up "Family life changed." is in no way ominous. Now you're just desperately misinterpreting the actual words to try to fit them to your own preconceptions. Nowhere does it say or imply the house is abandoned. Were that the writer's goal a stronger word would have been used. You only get to critique the words used, not your replacements.

    No matter how many time you claim that it does, the word empty does not morph to "abandoned." Sorry, but it doesn't. Again, had the author wanted it to mean abandoned that's the word that would appear.

    And nowhere does it say the family can't afford food. Even if we take the word scarce to mean money is limited, scarce and starving are cousins, not clones.

    Taking the view that your interpretation, and substitute wording, is definitive—without talking to the person who wrote it—seems a trifle presumptuous. If you want to believe that the word abandoned and empty are synonyms, that scarce and none are the same, and that Unfamiliar is ominous, you're free to do so. But Insisting that all others must see your rewritten version in place of the opriginal is a pretty hard thing to sell. And becoming angry because I don't see it your way seems less then an effective discussion method.

  6. #56
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Well, I guess you know what the story means better. The author who wrote the piece plainly states that the people can't afford food and abandon the house. It's THE AUTHOR'S interpretation, not mine. But you disagree with the author's interpretation of her own writing, so of course, you're right. lol.

    Bye-bye, Jay.
    Last edited by John Oberon; 01-10-2016 at 08:08 PM.

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