You're presenting this story presupposing that the reader knows all about lion mating and pride behavior, which lets out the kids because of the sexual theme. And readers over that age won't be interested because you're telling the story as if it was a children's book. Your characters don't interact, they emote, speaking the words at each other, not having what would be a reasonable conversation. And they behave as if they've read the script, and know what you want them to know. For example, the lion wakes up and decided he wants to form a pride, so no one but him knows that. But when his friend arrives she somehow knows what's on his mind, without having to be told.

At the moment the writing is all over the place. In the opening line you say, "...Anapumua Moto woke up and started searching for a pride." This opens with the lion getting up and beginning to search. So the reader has an expectation that they will be on the move. But you abandon the line and then, as yourself, talk about his mane and his health, which has nothing at all to do with what he's doing. He's thinkjg about sex you you're talking about what you see. I mention it because this is a guaranteed rejection point.

You say, "He roared again and again to listen for any nomadic lionesses." This, too is a rejection point because you tell the reader he's roaring to listen, which makes no sense. It's a rejection point, too, because you open with him searching, and then have him standing in place roaring.

Bottom line: Writing fiction that people will want to read is a difficult and competitive profession, one for which they offer four year majors in at the university. You have to assume that at least some of it is necessary knowledge for you, as well. Think about it. If all you needed to be a writer was a C average in English we'd all be successful writers.

Yes, when you tell the story to your family they like it. But when you do it's a performance, with the emotional part of the story coming in the way it's told; in the facial expressions you use; and in their knowledge of you and how you speak. But your reader can neither see nor hear you, so all of the warmth and the emotion is lost.

The short version: it you want to write fiction you have to become a fiction writer, just like you become an engineer, an accountant, or any other profession. There's a lot to it that's not obvious, but still necessary.

So if your goal is to write, you need to upgrade your skills and knowledge of how to present a story in a way that will captivate the reader. In that the local public library's fiction writing section is a great resource.