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Thread: Query Letter

  1. #1
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    Query Letter

    This is my first attempt at writing a query. Constructive criticism and suggestions appreciated.

    Dear [Agent],

    Lil Harper is grief-stricken following the unexpected death of her beloved husband of thirty years, Jim. Lil is attempting to put the pieces of her shattered life together, when she finds an abandoned puppy on her doorstep. She takes the puppy under her care, while unsuccessfully trying to find its owner. She forms a bond with her furry friend Buster, and believes that her late husband had a hand in bringing him to her for comfort and companionship. Lil suffers another loss when the company where sheís been employed for twenty years closes due to the nationís recession of 2008.
    Lil has two children, Jenna, and Brad. Jenna is an executive at an advertising agency. Haunted by a dark secret from her past, Jenna struggles with her demons unsuccessfully until she reaches out for help. She enters therapy and begins a journey of self-discovery and spiritual healing.

    Brad is an attorney with a promising career ahead of him. He works hard, foregoing a social life, with the goal of becoming junior partner. He meets Jill Goldstein, his bossís trophy wife, at the firms Christmas party. He is immediately attracted to her, and starts up a conversation with her that is interrupted by his boss, who abruptly takes Jill home, where he attacks her in a jealous rage. Jill has been the victim of continual abuse from him, but is afraid to leave. Soon thereafter, Brad and Jill meet accidentally. Jill tells Brad about the abuse, and he becomes her confidante. They fall in love, and Jill gains the courage to leave her husband, entering a shelter for abused women. When her husband discovers that Jill has left him, he vows to find her and exact revenge.

    The Seeds of Time is a 92,005 word novel about a family whose deep bonds of love and support give them strength and courage as each experiences lifeís challenges and sorrows, joys and triumphs.
    The story ends with a cliffhanger that unfolds in the sequel.

    Thank you for your time and consideration,



  2. #2
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by tjm View Post
    This is my first attempt at writing a query. Constructive criticism and suggestions appreciated.

    Dear [Agent],

    Lil Harper is grief-stricken following the unexpected death of her beloved husband of thirty years, Jim. Lil is attempting to put the pieces of her shattered life together, when she finds an abandoned puppy on her doorstep. She takes the puppy under her care, while unsuccessfully trying to find its owner. She forms a bond with her furry friend Buster, and believes that her late husband had a hand in bringing him to her for comfort and companionship. Lil suffers another loss when the company where she’s been employed for twenty years closes due to the nation’s recession of 2008.
    Lil has two children, Jenna, and Brad. Jenna is an executive at an advertising agency. Haunted by a dark secret from her past, Jenna struggles with her demons unsuccessfully until she reaches out for help. She enters therapy and begins a journey of self-discovery and spiritual healing.

    Brad is an attorney with a promising career ahead of him. He works hard, foregoing a social life, with the goal of becoming junior partner. He meets Jill Goldstein, his boss’s trophy wife, at the firms Christmas party. He is immediately attracted to her, and starts up a conversation with her that is interrupted by his boss, who abruptly takes Jill home, where he attacks her in a jealous rage. Jill has been the victim of continual abuse from him, but is afraid to leave. Soon thereafter, Brad and Jill meet accidentally. Jill tells Brad about the abuse, and he becomes her confidante. They fall in love, and Jill gains the courage to leave her husband, entering a shelter for abused women. When her husband discovers that Jill has left him, he vows to find her and exact revenge.

    The Seeds of Time is a 92,005 word novel about a family whose deep bonds of love and support give them strength and courage as each experiences life’s challenges and sorrows, joys and triumphs.
    The story ends with a cliffhanger that unfolds in the sequel.

    Thank you for your time and consideration,
    Go do some research on how query letters are written. This forum, Agent Query, Query Shark, etc. will give you examples. What you're writing are character bios.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Mutt View Post
    Go do some research on how query letters are written. This forum, Agent Query, Query Shark, etc. will give you examples. What you're writing are character bios.
    Thank you.

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