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  1. #21
    Rogue Mutt
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    It's pretty much the same except the first sentence.



  2. #22
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    13
    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue Mutt View Post
    It's pretty much the same except the first sentence.
    Yeah, the first sentence was what you were focusing on from the previous found of improvement.

  3. #23
    Junior Member
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    Jan 2015
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    13
    Bump

  4. #24
    Junior Member KnightofFlowers's Avatar
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    Mar 2015
    Posts
    2
    Hi guy, I agree with the other posters but your plot does sounds interesting. I have a question about the age of your main character. If it's a YA novel shouldn't she be no older than seventeen? At twenty she's not even a teenager anymore.

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