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  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
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    22

    Blackbird on my Chimney

    Another poem where I am looking forward to the end of all this cold. This is inspired by the little bird hubby and I call "Chirpy", who visits every year (we like to think it is the same guy!) and heralds the start of good weather. We just love his song.... it is so cheering!

    DW

    BLACKBIRD ON MY CHIMNEY

    The blackbird on my chimney
    Lifts his head to sing
    A little ditty that he wrote
    About the coming spring

    The lyrics are so beautiful
    And they bounce across the air
    He’s such a gifted poet
    And he doesn’t have a care

    He sings of things like waking buds
    Bluebells upon the hills
    Leaping lambs in lush green fields
    And roadside daffodils

    He doesn’t mind the chilly air
    It never stops his singing
    And when he leaves us we’ll still hear
    His song in our ears ringing

  2. #2
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
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    3,063
    It's really quite lovely. Can't wait for Spring myself. There's just a few spots where the rhythm stumbles where I'd change the wording. Suggestions in red.

    BLACKBIRD ON MY CHIMNEY

    The blackbird on my chimney
    Lifts his head to sing
    A little ditty that he wrote
    About the coming spring

    The lyrics are so beautiful
    They bounce across the air
    He’s such a gifted poet
    Without a single care

    He sings of things like waking buds
    And bluebells on the hills
    Leaping lambs in lush green fields
    And roadside daffodils

    He doesn’t mind the chilly air
    It never stops his song
    And when he leaves us we’ll still hear
    His singing all day long

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    22
    Thanks John. I think in my head I am saying "bluebells" with the emphasis on the second syllable for this, which sounded fine that way to me. But of course saying the word correctly in the way you have it works too! LOL

    Thanks for taking the time to tweak.

    DW

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