Hello everyone,

I have read through a few of the query letters posted here, and saw the archers lining up thereafter to let the arrows fly. I'd like to preface this post with: I am not there yet, just looking for some talented writers with valuable pointers on how to shape a blurb into a query letter.

Without giving away the plot or providing a spoiler, here is my roughly hewn blurb which I hope to mold into a query letter at some point:
  • A defective nuke goes missing from one of England's first classified atomic bomb projects.
  • A corpse disappears from a United States morgue.
  • Satan's Pitchfork, the world's first entirely nuclear submarine, sinks in the arctic with nearly all of its Russian crew lost.
  • An impossibly large repository of gold from the Sacred Treasury of the Roman Empire is linked to all three of these events.

With encrypted radio transmissions being intercepted on United States soil one month before the 9/11 attacks, intelligence agencies stumble onto clues leading to the hidden location of this colossal hoard of gold. As they search for a spy within the borders of the United States, the mystery deepens as zealots with ties to Al Qaeda appear to be after the same thing... or the same person.

As each group closes in on their objectives, one man is hunted down like an animal, and another is facing life imprisonment. Each of them has entrusted the same person with the true nature of an ancient secret, but is the world prepared for the consequences of its revelation?

I welcome your arrows.