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  1. #1
    Junior Member BethFB's Avatar
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    Question I'm stuck on this scene.

    For the past few hours, I've been staring at the blank page of chapter fourteen of my original story Warrior Princess.

    The end of chapter thirteen is this:

    Cailean and Tarisn got everyone hidden and then slipped into the hiding spot that they took together. Tarisn looked around and glanced at Cailean. “Something doesn't feel right about this, Cailean.”
    He glanced at her. “What do you mean?”
    “I think we should call it off and wait for another time,” Tarisn whispered, as she took note of how silent the woodland creatures were. Even the birds who she would hear them speaking about who was coming, their songs were silent.
    “Don't worry so much,” Cailean stated. “It will work.”
    “I have a bad feeling about this,” Tarisn whispered. Her hands ran over her arms trying to calm the shivers that started to come to her. She glanced to the others to see them readying themselves to pounce when she heard the sounds of a wagon and horses coming.
    Cailean whispered, “Get ready!”
    Tarisn glanced down the path to see the tax collector and his horse walking down the path at a trot, the feeling that she got in her stomach grew stronger as she grabbed his arm and whispered. “Cailean, call it off. I seriously do not like . . . .”
    But by the time she finished saying it, the tree that they used to block the tax collector's path was dropped in front of him halting the horse's forward motion.
    Cailean waited a moment before glancing at Tarisn and yelled the attack as everyone lunged up pointing their swords and arrows at the tax collector, who didn't act scared like the previous times.
    Tarisn knew something was not right when she heard a noise coming from behind them. She glanced behind to see armed warriors heading their way. “We're under attack!”
    Cailean turned to see Tarisn pulling her sword and not looking at the collector anymore. He looked beyond her and knew they had been had. “Forget the collector, abandon the attack, retreat!”
    The others turned to see why they were being called off when the warriors came from the dark shadows of the forest rushing towards them, with swords slashing.

    I know where the story should go but the words are not coming to me like chapter thirteen did. I want the next chapter to be where they're fighting but describing the battle scene is what is blocking me right now. How should I go about getting this scene down or should I do a brief mention of it and show the warrior band escaping?

    Thank you.



  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Hi Beth! Since you're drafting you can just mention it and elaborate more when you revise, so as to keep your forward momentum going. One thing I noticed in your work is repeated use of "glance/glancing" but maybe that's because its just the rough draft. You certainly have a lot of action going on, maybe the fight scene would be too much at this point? Sometimes the next logical scene isn't the best one if its just a stepping stone to the next "real" scene in which case a mere mention would suffice.

  3. #3
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    Beth,

    Since I get the impression Tarisn is your MC and thus your Warrior Princess I wouldn't skip over this battle, but I probably wouldn't dedicate an entire chapter to it either. Perhaps she stays and fights long enough for the others to retreat or something to that effect.

    Does she get wounded or captured or separated from her companions? Perhaps Cailean and the others think she is dead. In other words, this is a good place to get your readers thinking and asking questions, so use it to get your readers attention and become involved with your MC.

    On the other hand, if it's not any of those things, then move on with your story. Past experience has taught me to remember that just because I know where my story is going or what motivates my characters to do what they do, that doesn't mean my readers do.

    Just food for thought.

  4. #4
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    If your aim is for the warrior band to escape, then I'd make it quick, but not without some serious casualities - maybe up to 25% of her band - because they need to fight their way free. That's my feeling.

  5. #5
    Junior Member BethFB's Avatar
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    I usually edit as I go and sometimes spend time editing the chapter before moving onto the next one or if the muse is still singing bright and strong, continue on. I like the idea where she fights to give her fellow warriors a chance to escape and then she escapes with some injuries and returns to the camp after the others have returned as this scene really leads into her 'leaving' the band as she failed in her role as leader, when the co-leader basically didn't heed her advice and proceeded on with the planned attack on the tax collector, the co-leader does follow her and they end up talking and finding out a bit more about each other and a budding romance is started instead of them butting heads on stuff anymore.

  6. #6
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Bang bang, kiss kiss.

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