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  1. #11
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    John, it is Sammy in the first post. The second narrator is nameless. I was kind of hoping Sammy's intentions would be clear without coming right out and saying she was contemplating her own suicide. You said yourself that it sounded like another girl ready to kill herself. I'll add that to the list of corrections, lol. Thanks for all your help so far!



  2. #12
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Okay...yeah. That's not too bad then. Just make it clearer that it's Sammy in the first part, maybe have Libby address her by name or something. Not bad.

  3. #13
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    Wow! That's high praise from you, Mr. Oberon!

  4. #14
    Administrator Wickett's Avatar
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    I think John may be getting a little soft these days. Heh.

  5. #15
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Soft!? Hah! Never! Just being honest. I thought what she wrote was decent, if she clears up the Sammy thing. I think she had a very strong purpose when she wrote it. A strong purpose improves writing 100% of the time.

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