HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3
Results 21 to 29 of 29
  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    90
    What a fun exercise--to offer help to a query writer who's stingy with story information. As if one can write/rewrite a query using scraps and dribbles of contradictory fragments whose implications the writer apparently hasn't considered.

    Oh well.

    The key problems:
    --Boring backstory dump that delays start of narrative
    --Dull abstractions instead of *specific sensory images* [aside from "beach" and "ocean"]--
    --No singular focus
    --Lack of logical flow, jumping around in time



  2. #22
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by robin View Post
    What a fun exercise--to offer help to a query writer who's stingy with story information.
    Yeah and the problem is that unlike us, an agent isn't going to sit around trying to deduce what the story might be about. They'll just skip to the next email in their queue.

  3. #23
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    17
    Oh my. I now understand why this website has such an unfortunate reputation. I'd like to thank John for his help. As for the other comments, I must admit that they seem more like pedestal rants from people who lack self-confidence and prefer to hide behind a computer where they won't have to own up to anything . I feel sorry for you, Robin. I teach students with your same level of arrogance, and it rarely gets them anywhere. Feel free to continue your nasty comments. I don't plan on returning and won't see them.

  4. #24
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    I'm glad I wasted my time trying to make your query and story better. In the final analysis all people wanted to know was what the hell your story was about and you refused to be of much help on that score, so what do you expect?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beth View Post
    Oh my. I now understand why this website has such an unfortunate reputation. I'd like to thank John for his help. As for the other comments, I must admit that they seem more like pedestal rants from people who lack self-confidence and prefer to hide behind a computer where they won't have to own up to anything . I feel sorry for you, Robin. I teach students with your same level of arrogance, and it rarely gets them anywhere. Feel free to continue your nasty comments. I don't plan on returning and won't see them.

  5. #25
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063
    "Unfortunate reputation"...really? I didn't know that. What is it? If WN earned a reputation, I don't think Robin contributed much to it. She only has 74 posts, lol. I'd be one of the main culprits.

    The main thing wrong with your query is the lack of a real story. The Sons want to kill Arden for no reason other than what she is. It sounds like the Klan or Nazis. That kind of automaton hatred is nebulous, nothing distinctive or unique...we hate all Sirens - crush, kill, destroy. Much more interesting to have an action as the point of contention. Maybe Arden needs to find the Pearl of Valusia hidden in Sons turf because it's key to her power as representative of the Sirens, and when it is fitted into the Necklace of Poseidon, it renders the Sons vulnerable to the Siren song. See? Specificity is your friend. You can't direct a cloud, it just evaporates. Right now, your story is that the Sons want to kill Arden because she's a Siren, and Arden would like to avoid that. There's nothing solid for an agent to grab, and no point to prick his curiosity.

    Well, I'm sorry to see you leave. Robin wrote in a sarcastic tone, which was unnecessary, granted...but believe me, I've had far worse directed at ME by people who no longer frequent the site. Maybe it was they who earned WN its "unfortunate reputation" and not me, lol. Yeah, let's go with that.

  6. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    90
    This thread pulses with good creative energy, fine ideas, but unfortunately few originate from the query poster.

    And although the query poster is stingy with both story details and gratitude, this thread's "narrative arc" shows the query poster being led to a realization, a discovery--an anagnorisis--which is:

    She has no story. Instead, she has an idea for a story:

    Bad guys want to kill good guys. The good guys don't want to be killed by the bad guys, so a good guy fights back.

    The reader knows who's good and bad because the author tells us so.

    But instead of using her anagnorisis to motivate improving her query, which means addressing her writing problems, the query poster contrives a conflict--blaming other(s)--to use as an excuse for an embarrassed hasty exit.

    Well...I guess this denouement is appropriate for her query.

    anagnorisis
    (Literary & Literary Critical Terms) (in Greek tragedy) the recognition or discovery by the protagonist of the identity of some character or the nature of his own predicament, which leads to the resolution of the plot; denouement

    [from Greek: recognition]

  7. #27
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    I think most people (including me) just come here wanting a high-five and told how awesome they are. The last thing they want to hear is that the story doesn't make sense or isn't much of a story. The truth hurts.

    Quote Originally Posted by robin View Post
    This thread pulses with good creative energy, fine ideas, but unfortunately few originate from the query poster.

    And although the query poster is stingy with both story details and gratitude, this thread's "narrative arc" shows the query poster being led to a realization, a discovery--an anagnorisis--which is:

    She has no story. Instead, she has an idea for a story:

    Bad guys want to kill good guys. The good guys don't want to be killed by the bad guys, so a good guy fights back.

    The reader knows who's good and bad because the author tells us so.

    But instead of using her anagnorisis to motivate improving her query, which means addressing her writing problems, the query poster contrives a conflict--blaming other(s)--to use as an excuse for an embarrassed hasty exit.

    Well...I guess this denouement is appropriate for her query.

    anagnorisis
    (Literary & Literary Critical Terms) (in Greek tragedy) the recognition or discovery by the protagonist of the identity of some character or the nature of his own predicament, which leads to the resolution of the plot; denouement

    [from Greek: recognition]

  8. #28
    Senior Member SapphireBlue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    124
    I think it was the word "stingy" that seemed so unfortunate. I didn't see the query poster as being stingy, but confused. She did try revising her query several times.

    I like the backstory here: "In Greek mythology, Orpheus was the one who defeated the Sirens. His music was stronger than their singing, and as a result they threw themselves into the sea and drowned. In my story, one survived and married a human. Hence, they became integrated into society."

    Would love to see that integrated into the query.

  9. #29
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063
    You don't want backstory in a query; you want the story. 200-300 words for a query means you need to get to the point in a hurry. That's the trouble - there's no real point to Beth's story...yet.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts