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  1. #1
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    Moving right along.....

    Okay. They meet for breakfast. She remembered Nick as being rugged looking, not handsome. I know the following is awkward, but I want to express exactly these thoughts of Carla's when she first sees him again.

    I was wrong. He was better looking, actually. Not classically handsome, but what teenage girls would have referred to as ďa hunk.Ē There was a casual, self-confident super-hero aura about him. As though he might, as a routine part of his day, rescue babies from burning buildings. His intensity though, all steel and no silk, suggested that he was as likely to crush the little being than to place it safely out of harmís way.



  2. #2
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    My two cents:

    I was wrong. He was more handsome, actually. Not classically handsome, but what teenage girls call “a hunk.” He exuded a casual, self-confident, almost super-hero aura...as though he routinely rescued babies from burning buildings. His intensity though, all steel and no silk, suggested he might just as likely crush the baby as save it.

  3. #3
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    There you go! Your two cents is worth much more than two cents. I am holed up in a hotel in Manassas (I live in RI but am meeting w/my editor here tomorrow. Have been writing all day and feeling weary.

    I would rarely question a word you suggest, but this is one of those times.
    Quote Originally Posted by John Oberon View Post
    My two cents:

    Where you say HE WAS MORE HANDSOME, I am deleting the word more.


    I was wrong. He was more handsome, actually. Not classically handsome, but what teenage girls call a hunk. He exuded a casual, self-confident, almost super-hero aura...as though he routinely rescued babies from burning buildings. His intensity though, all steel and no silk, suggested he might just as likely crush the baby as save it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    No problem-o. I was just trying to stick with your original meaning because you said "exactly", but write it how you need to write it.

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