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  1. #1
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    Synopsis Help Please

    Have an agent interested and want to make sure my synopsis is the best I can make it.

    The Great Turbulence and Malcontent of Brimley Tinderbuss
    Synopsis


    Brimley Tinderbuss is an out-of-luck writer in 1665 London. He writes subversive prose about King Charles II, which does not pay and could cost him his head. His novel, Orphans of the Night, about London's pests, is not selling. He writes prolifically in his rented attic on the south side of the London Bridge. When his pretty but characterless landlord, Grace, would like his rent paid when due, he writes poetry to soothe her financial expectations.

    Brimley has a love of festivities and pretty women and often parties long into the night. One night, returning home from a night of frolicking, he stumbles upon an orphan lying in an alley. The plague is rampant this winter and he knows better than to approach her, but something about the moonlight on her cold blue feet and the pink ribbon tied around her ankle, stirs something deep within him that he has not felt before. He takes her to the barber, who wants to amputate her feet. Brimley refuses and takes the twelve-year-old orphan, Josie, to his attic, and for weeks nurses her and her feet back to life. She is a smart girl and her wit often clashes with him, but he loves her like the daughter he never had.

    His old friend and mentor Professor Grimpter tries to steer him away from his traitorous prose, as one of his students—a friend of Brimley's—has lost his head to the top of a pike on London Bridge's Southwark Gate. Nonetheless, he is caught posting his writings one night in a snow storm. He fights and escapes only to find, they now know where he lives. He seeks shelter at the Professor's until that too becomes unsafe.

    The Professor secures a tutoring job for Brimley, neither suspecting that it is a position to teach the King's twelve bastard children far away at Salisbury. While there, Brimley becomes involved with Martha, a lady of the court who, unbeknownst to him, is a mistress of King Charles. In the meantime, Brimley and the King have become friends, often sharing meals. And, with neither's knowledge, Martha.

    During one of his trysts with Martha, Brimley writes a bit of seditious prose. Her loyalty shows its color when King Charles himself calls for Brimley to explain his complicated and sarcastic words, and sentences him to banishment. Martha, who did not expect such treatment for Brimley, helps him escape. Now all he has is his coat, quill, and legs to keep him from harm's way.

    Brimley arrives in London desperate and penniless. His only goal is to find Josie and say goodbye, then seek passage on a ship to get him out of England. Things go terribly awry as Grace’s new lover refuses to allow Brimley speak to Josie. Brimley is forced to flee but, unbeknownst to him, Josie has followed. By the time he realizes it, he becomes aware of Josie’s presence the two are in the beginnings of what will become The Great Fire of London. He and Josie heroically save lives all through the night, rigging blankets and enlisting the help of others to catch people jumping from windows.

    Their last action is to rescue some children screaming on the third floor of a government house, and it's not until late morning that Brimley discovers he has rescued his former students; The Royal Bastards. They make their way through a half-ruined city to the Professor's flat on the undamaged part of London Bridge. Soon after the children are cleaned up and fed, the Royal Guards arrive and take Brimley into custody.

    For six days, he lies in the Tower awaiting his fate. The list of his offenses is too long for him to have any hope. Finally, he is called before King Charles, who is both happy and sad at seeing him again, and decides to reward his heroism and punish his earlier transgressions. A stipend fit for a prince and year of banishment is a sentence he can live with, especially since Josie has always wanted to see France and Italy.



  2. #2
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Well, it's not really awful, lol. I understand the story okay, but it's pretty dry. You use empty verbs and passive voice, and there's some confusing parts. To tell you the truth, this sounds more like a short story than a novel. Doesn't anything else happen?
    Last edited by John Oberon; 04-01-2013 at 01:29 PM.

  3. #3
    Rogue Mutt
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    I saw this article and thought of you: http://writersinthestorm.wordpress.c...sexy-synopsis/

  4. #4
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Hey, that's a great little article! The suggestion in the comments section is pretty good too.

  5. #5
    Senior Member SapphireBlue's Avatar
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    Wow, really good link. Thanks, Rogue!

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