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  1. #1
    Junior Member BethFB's Avatar
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    Post Story blocked on rough scene.

    I am so angry at myself, I'm actually stuck on a scene for my fantasy story called Warrior Princess. I'm stuck on how to stage a rough scene which ends with a death to one of the members of the warrior band and the kidnapping of another.
    I'm hoping to break it but I can't since I've been on this scene for the past three weeks and nothing really is coming to me.
    Here's the scene.

    Far in the woods, Aiden and Amara sat on the edges of the forest watching the town as they knew the tax collector will be coming later that morning to start collecting the taxes from the peasants for the King to protect them from bandits. Amara looked over at Aiden and whispered. "Do you think he'll come after dawn like he normally does?"
    Aiden nodded. "He's been doing it for weeks, I doubt that he'll change his ways, Amara. If he did, we're going to be in trouble."
    Amara nodded as she pulled out a small package of food from her pouch on her side and handed some of it to him as they ate a small meal. "You know, we could stay in the inn for the night."
    "That's true but we might miss him coming till after he leaves, leaving the others no time to set up the ambush." Aiden whispered.
    "Perhaps we should venture to the inn and listen in for any information on when he will be coming?" Amara glanced over to him.
    Aiden nodded as they gathered the cover that they used for their seats on the fallen log. They both wrapped their personal cover into a roll and placed it on their back as they walked deeper into the woods to slip onto the path that would lead them to the inn like they were travelers traveling to another town.
    They were unaware of the pair of eyes that followed them as the stranger trailed behind them.
    I'm not sure how to stage the scene, I know I have to show them inside the inn, having a bite to eat or maybe something to drink and having Aiden blab something about waiting for the tax man to come around where they get into a bit of an encounter with a stranger and it is an hour or so later, they resume their place in the woods to watch for the tax collector to come and what ends up happening happens. But I'm unsure on how to stage it.

    Can someone give me a suggestion on how to move the scene along?
    Thanks,
    Beth



  2. #2
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Well, didn't you just stage it all, lol?

    If you want particulars, hmmm...I assume most everyone in the town hates the tax collector and anyone associated with him. I also assume Aiden and Amara are strangers in town, so when they go into the inn asking about the tax collector's arrival, I think a natural question a townsperson might ask with a little suspicion is, "Why do you want to know? Friend of his?" And then maybe that person and a couple others become even more suspicious at their reluctance to reveal their business, then on and on just a little further until a real row starts. A & A prove too slippery and escape, then decide to wait at their previous spot. Is something like that what you were after?

    Or if the town doesn't mind paying taxes and like the king, then maybe they want to protect the tax collector from two strangers whom they think might want to rob him.

  3. #3
    Junior Member BethFB's Avatar
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    Aiden and Amara are members of a warrior band who is against the King as he killed the reigning King his father. The warrior band has two heirs to the throne the true heir the firstborn daughter and her brother. It is the younger prince who killed the King and blamed it on his two siblings, the princess took the sword that would have deemed him the true King and tossed it into a gate to send it to another world and a replacement leader would come, who came and it is she who suggested stealing from the tax collector.

    The people do not like the tax collector but what the warrior band did by stealing his horses and taking the tax chest, sort of pissed off the King to where the taxes were raised to cover the stolen taxes. So the people in the Inn would not really take too well to having another raise in their taxes because of the theft of another tax chest. The stranger who is following the pair is one of the King's men sent to figure out who was telling the thieves when the tax collector was heading towards next. It is that stranger who Aiden sort of reveals who they are to the stranger and the Innkeeper tells Aiden and Amara to leave. That's when they leave to resume their hiding place, that is where the stranger basically attacks them at. We later see Amara stagger back to the camp a few hours later. But we also see Amara slip away from the others after the meetings and its later, the planned attacks end up failing with the band retreatng with injuries. It is way later, that they find out that Amara was spying on them for the King.

    But getting the scene dealt with is what is stumping me good.

  4. #4
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    I guess I'm not really clear on your problem. It sounds like you have a good handle on the setting, the characters, their motives, the plot and flow of action...what's the problem? What does "getting the scene dealt with" mean?

  5. #5
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    Hmm...It's possible you may have written yourself into a corner. Perhaps your characters don't have enough motivation or the proper motivation to respond in this scene? It's hard to know from a small snippet.

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is skip the scene and move on to what happens next. Create a placeholder and go on to writing the next scene. That could provide you with the answers you need for this scene.

    Jeanne

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