HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stoke on Trent, UK
    Posts
    164

    I've been posting on my blog again!

    Hi all

    Hope you are approaching Christmas with some degree of sanity left.

    Just wanted to let you all know that I've posted the latest chapter of my serial story on my blog, "My Way By Moonlight" if you would like to give it a look.

    Comments - either on here, or there (or both!) would be welcome and eagerly anticipated.

    Many thanks

    http://debbivoisey.wordpress.com

  2. #2
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063
    Keep posting, Debbie. I'm reading. I can't seem to leave any comments on the blog though, so if you're not getting any responses, that may be the reason.

    Just keep posting.

  3. #3
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest
    I like Wordpress but it's harder for people to follow them than on Blogger.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stoke on Trent, UK
    Posts
    164
    Thanks for that, guys! Much appreciated.

    John, what specific problems are you having with posting comments? I was wondering why I don't get comments much, but I did get one once, so assumed that all was well. I might consider changing over to Blogger, but don't have time at the moment. I'll see.

    You can comment here if you like

  5. #5
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063
    Okay, well, I had some congruency problems with the first installment. You describe the setting as a quay that is “dank and dirty, almost god-forsaken”, so much so that the cab driver has doubts about dropping a fare there. You then further describe it as “a whole load of nothing except dirt and noise” and later repeat the “whole load of nothing” phrase. So nothing but dirt and noise, and a taxi driver who wonders what business anyone would have at this god-forsaken location. That’s the setting.

    But then…surprise! There’s “a little block of cafes and a Spar (somehwere to get sandwiches and drinks at last!) and apartments looking out onto the canal dock” and “More new buildings had shot up.” Not only that, but poof! “Behind me, from beyond the building that was almost the only original thing left in this street, I heard shrill squealing.” I wonder how the cab driver missed that building? A building is certainly not nothing.

    And then shazam! we have a large crowd gathered to greet a rock star. I wonder how the driver missed that? Particularly when the most common place you’d expect to see a rock star is in some almost god-forsaken place where there’s a whole load of nothing except dirt and noise.

    Do you see what I mean by congruency problems?

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Stoke on Trent, UK
    Posts
    164
    Hi John

    There may well be congruency problems and trouble with repetition (oops) but this is a real place and basically it comes across that way. One side of it is derelict and dirty and dusty, and at the other end of it are the new developments. It’s a work in progress.

    Locals react to it a certain way – maybe they don’t see the development and just see the bits that are being pulled down.

    And yes, there is a massively famous rock star working there….. LOL. Just not the one I am describing.

    I have always been fascinated with the changing face of that part of Dublin and wanted to use the rock band thing (defiantly smack bang in the middle of it and not ready to be moved!), as a contrast and something that might add some interest.

    To be honest, to me – and to others who know the place – it is dead on. But it is my bad that I could not get it across adequately to someone who has not been there.

    Consider wrist slapped Hope you enjoy it other than that.

    Debbi

  7. #7
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063
    Ok, but my point is there is not a whole lot of nothing and it is not god-forsaken and a cab driver is not going to wonder why you want to go there. It is a demolition/construction site. There must be men and machinery both demolishing and building. There must be a lot of activity. None of that comes through. Typically, demolition and construction happen simultaneously in popular areas, or at least in areas someone is trying to make popular.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts