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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2012
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    what should I do?

    Hi Guys, could you help with something that has been bothering the hell out of me. My next novel - Eternally Yours starts with a beautiful woman trapped inside an attic room never to be set free. We feel her terror and her desperation to be free. We quickly find out who her tormentor is and why. He is waiting for a certain day to drink all her blood and become an Eternal Vampire. She escapes, meets the only man who can love her, but is captured by her tormentor. She finally escapes but is left amnesiac and now trapped in an asylum with no means of escape. The ticking clock is her life draining away without human blood to sustain it. This set up, introducing the three main characters takes 30 pages. Is it too long. The pace is even and moderate not run for life stuff.
    I have been told I should go from her escape straight to the asylum in less than ten pages, but if I do that I will never be able to introduce the antagonist or the lover. What a dilemma.



  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Mar 2011
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    It's kind of hard to give you an answer without reading the first few pages. If we really DO feel her terror, then I'd say you're okay. But if the first section is all introspection and then you infodump, or the first section is a half-page long and you spend 29 pages of a 300 page book without any action or tension, then you may have a problem. Maybe you should post the first few pages for critique. Just a thought. Good luck!!!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lea Zalas's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
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    Agree wth Tinman, can't really help without reading an excerpt.

  4. #4
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2012
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    Thanks Guys. I'll post the few pages and see.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    Jun 2012
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    9
    Mockingbird--

    When I think about beginnings in writing, I think of Vonnegut's advice that one should "start as close to the end as possible." It's important that we as writers understand the full context and nuances of our characters' stories, but what is it vital that the reader know? What is the desired effect, and what is the best way to convey it to the reader?

    When a buildup is too long, we lose our reader. Think about if certain events in the buildup are unnecessary, can be combined, etc. Or, can you start after the buildup, where the action is, and then add in backstory?

    Would be happy to read an excerpt as well. Best of luck.

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