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  1. #41
    Senior Member Lea Zalas's Avatar
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    Agreed.

    However, can you blame civilians for thinking like we do, if what you say in front of us is not what you normally talk about to each other? We can only go by what firefighters and paramedics actually say to us. If I say one thing to my family and friends about my time in the Air Force, but my reality of that time is something altogether different, do I really have a right to get pissed at anyone for not knowing the truth?



  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Zalas View Post
    Agreed.

    However, can you blame civilians for thinking like we do, if what you say in front of us is not what you normally talk about to each other?
    Well, yes, to some extent. When one of us does speak out, civilians don't waste one second telling us how wrong we are -- how many times does the word "whining" appear in this thread? De-legitimizing our anger doesn't make it go away. It just makes us less likely to bring it up again. A lot of us are profoundly fatigued in general, and don't have it in us to communicate with civilians. It's too painful, and they screw you over so bad.

    We can only go by what firefighters and paramedics actually say to us. If I say one thing to my family and friends about my time in the Air Force, but my reality of that time is something altogether different, do I really have a right to get pissed at anyone for not knowing the truth?
    I think it's entirely likely that the things you believe and say come across very differently than you intend or expect them to. What John said was beyond ridiculous to ridonkulous, and you agreed with that.

    It's possible that what you perceive as macho or arrogant is a defensiveness that comes from being continually attacked. We don't trust you folks, bottom line, and it's a rookie mistake to do so.

    I'm well aware that there are different factions within public safety, and a lot of them like the non-communication communication just the way it is. As I said above, five paramedics, seven or more opinions. So if you went to high school with three of my uncles and almost married one of them, your brother dated my aunt, and your niece is married to my cousin, yes, you know us. But you're not there on Sunday morning, or at family reunions, or when mom's getting punched in the face. So if your position on it and mine are 160 degrees apart, mine may not be the one that needs calibrated.

    Our culture was established within a white, male, hetero, racist, sexist, alcoholic jock ethos, and that's where our communication default was set long ago. The fight to carve out a place for yourself if you're not all of those things is a bear, as is the struggle to work through all the false narratives that civilians are convinced is true.

    About the assertion -- reinforced repeatedly in this thread -- that my anger is some sort of anomaly or minority viewpoint:

    I was shocked when I entered the academy and had a firefighter spew on me out of the blue. What I had said was supportive, and in passing. But it provided an opening for him to say what he really thinks to a "civilian" woman; my dues weren't paid enough, then, to protect me from that. A captain told him to stop, and he did. But there was no apology and none was required. Becoming privy to the truth of who we are to them, and the corresponding rage, is part of the rite of passage.

    Ultimately most of us just shut down altogether.

  3. #43
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    What I said was ridiculous? Alrighty, well, good luck with the rage, mistrust, negativism, anger, miscommunication, victimization, and of course, the shutdown. I'm sure that attitude will inspire.

  4. #44
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    By the way, Simon...I didn't miss it. That's why I put that "lol" in my post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Simon Says View Post
    So frustrating when ball busting satire is interpreted as sincerity. Even John Oberman missed it. (Sigh)
    Last edited by John Oberon; 10-22-2012 at 07:45 AM.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Oberon View Post
    By the way, Simon...I didn't miss it. That's why I put that "lol" in my post.
    Sometimes with you Mr. Oberon, it's hard to tell if you're laughing @ or laughing with.

  6. #46
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    If you were sincere, then I was definitely laughing at you, but if you were being satirical as you say, then I was definitely laughing with you. It never occurred to me that you were whining sincerely, lol. You've NEVER struck me as the type to whine, that's why I caught it. I suspect nothing removes whine from a person quicker than trying to succeed in any area of the entertainment industry. Perhaps others didn't catch it because they haven't read you as much as I have.

    I guess I have little patience for people who gripe about their jobs. My stance is either get out of the job or do something to improve the situation, but stop complaining; it accomplishes exactly nothing. Cultivate a positive attitude of success, and usually, success is right around the corner, even though you'll probably hit some bumps along the way.

  7. #47
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    @ Xavier

    I've been trying to reply to your PM, but for some reason, it's not going through. I'll try again later.

  8. #48
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    @xavier,

    Still unable to send you a private message. I asked for help from the site, still haven't received any. I can post my reply on this thread if you like, but then it would be public.

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