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Thread: Cryptozoica

  1. #11
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Okay, got Chapter 2 under my belt. Again, pretty good writing. Just a couple things - first, Ruipender's holding a gun on Kavanaugh, right? K grabs R's hand...why doesn't R shoot him even out of reflex? I got past that one though, thinking R's young, inexperienced, maybe never shot anyone before, and Kavanaugh caught him off guard. What I didn't get past was this: K twists R's arm behind his back and makes him drop the gun. A little later, K's still got R's arm twisted behind his back and then kicks him in the diaphragm. After he kicks him, then he releases R's arm. I don't think that happens unless K's the rubber guy from the Fantastic Four.



  2. #12
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Just read the Chapter 3 sample. Really, it's pretty darn good writing. Hope it goes gangbusters for you.

  3. #13
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    There's a sample of chapter three?

  4. #14
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
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    Just an incomplete sample, not the whole chapter. Good writing.

  5. #15
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    Ah...and thanks.

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