Critics welcome

[John Oberon]

Liberal,

I answered you in the Controversial Topics forum.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I guess the query is reading like propaganda. I don't think the story does, but I will have to look for that. As far as implausibility goes, are all left wing concerns of cause and effect implausible. Is it implausible that global warming will have catastrophic effects if not immediately addressed? Is it implausible that less corporate regulation will cause the concentration of wealth to increase to the point of a virtual monarchy here in the US? And John how is it you know that I don't understand these philosophies, from my query that I am looking for help with?

[Lea Zalas]

Liberal, I have to say that both your query and some of your postings come across that you are pushing a political agenda rather than a story of fiction with a background of political intrique. If you want to sell your story as fiction, then your query needs to allow an agent to know that it IS a piece of fiction rather than a thinly disguised piece of political agenda.

[Liberal]

I am not saying my story doesn't have a polical agenda. It clearly does. Is that wrong. I see plenty of this in the bookstores. Ann Coulter, Sean Hannitty, that Amateur book. Left wing political fiction is no good? I am revising the query still. I'll post it when it's done. Thanks for suggestions everyone. Oh and John, as a new member, I don't think I can access the contraversial topics section.

[SusanH]

Really junior member, here. Liberal, I just want to say congrats for staying calm, hanging in there and defending your book against a tough crowd. Over and out.

[Lea Zalas]

Liberal, Ann Coulter doesn't categorize her books as fiction, you are. Therefore, you need a story and characters which readers will care about in spite of the political agenda. If you want to simply write a political book, then absolutely push your own agenda. But if you're going to write this as fiction, you need to be a little more well-rounded in the story

[Liberal]

How do you have any idea that my story is not well rounded fiction? Because of my query?

[Simon Says]

How do you have any idea that my story is not well rounded fiction? Because of my query?

Yes. Your query is focused more on a political agenda than your story than the story. Refocus your query on your protagonist, goal, conflict, obstacle and antagonist. Weave in the political context as necessary to add depth to your query, but don't make your query about the political context. Hope that makes sense.

[Lea Zalas]

How do you have any idea that my story is not well rounded fiction? Because of my query?

Yes, because of your query. And that means it's a good chance that because of your query, a lot of agents will think the same thing. If they're looking for a work of fiction, then into the trash goes your query.

[Liberal]

Thanks Lea, I am still working on the query. I get what you mean.

[Lea Zalas]

Good luck, Liberal. And would like to see a revised version when you get it done.