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Query Advice. Any Help is Appreciated!
Hello,
I've recently had some misgivings about the strength of my query letter. I first sent it out to twenty agents about nine weeks ago and I've received three "thanks, but no thanks" within 48 hours and then silence with the other seventeen. I'm not sure if I should just chill out and wait or if there's a problem with my query. All of the agents I sent it to do say that they give a response either way. I've included the basic format below. Any kind words of wisdom would be much appreciated!
"Dear Agent:
A secret, brewing deep beneath Iran’s mountainous terrain, is uncovered by the CIA’s most valuable agent; a cabal of Russian industrialists and military officers launch a plot to seize control of global energy markets; a terrorist captures a moment to play powers against each other; a fire is set that will consume thousands, and blind a superpower.
In 1990, as the Soviet empire crumbled, a Russian special forces team entered Germany and left behind a single device for a rainy day.
Brigadier General Saeed Mofidi, war hero, trusted confidant to Iran’s Supreme Leader, and traitor, makes a shocking revelation to his CIA handler: in just two months, Iran will possess a nuclear weapon. As the full might of the US intelligence community is mobilized to stop it, a veteran diplomat seeks to finally bring peace between Israel and its neighbors. In Moscow, an uneasy alliance of military brass and oil oligarchs conspire to wrestle control of the globe’s energy reserves from Arab sheikhdoms.
Their plan? Enlist the world’s greatest terrorist to put America and Iran on a collision course, warping the lines between illusion and reality, and setting the stage for a single, massive conflagration.
ACTIVE MEASURES - PART I, complete at approximately 118,000 words, is the first volume of an epic espionage trilogy. May I send you a larger excerpt or the full manuscript?
I am a student of international politics with a life-long yearning to build and share my stories. I have worked in Congress, the British Parliament, and served on a roundtable at the US Naval Academy.
Thank you for your time and consideration."
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