Tear Reaper

[screwpulp]

The tears of a child
are heavy indeed
They roll fat down plum cheeks
wetting innocents’ sheets

Every night tears are lost
in this wasteful fashion
and could be avoided
via tear duct extraction

Great care must be taken
when farming cry-drops
Each bottle is labeled
and sealed with glass tops

Displayed in the sun
prismatic faeries that dance
give me hope that I might
have just one more chance

To regain my past
I steal from the meek
to experience a child’s
warm tear on my cheek

[John Oberon]

Why did you write this? Don't really get a clear message from it.

Stanzas 2 and 3 clash horribly with the rest of it. They read Suess-like and silly, while the rest of it reads more serious and solemn.

No rhyme in stanza 1. No real rhythm or meter.

[screwpulp]

I once thought I'd write a book about someone who steals the tears from children. I later realized that I'm no writer but, this would've been at the beginning. Thanks for reading.

[John Oberon]

Sounds like a children's book. In that case, you need strong rhyme, rhythm, and meter, and a very clear message. Not going to pursue it, ey?

[screwpulp]

I've only written a few paragraphs and those were written a several years ago. If I can get this publishing thing off of the ground maybe I'll get a little motivation to continue.