“But before Max has time to put the pieces of this puzzle together, bullets bombard the cottage. Max and his team make it out alive and follow the gunman's trail to Germany.”
This is quoting verbatim from Josh’s story. I think the term “bullets bombard the cottage,” fits in perfectly here. It flows well, and as I said before it’s alliterative. There is no other synonym that would be as appropriate.
Here is another example of the expression, which is also perfectly valid:
“The soldier’s hand stops shaking. He holds up his AK-47. A spray of bullets bombard the wall he is crouched behind, and he takes his chance.”
This is a cheery forum of late. If you like your writing, then like it. I wouldn't change a thing.
Or would I? I wouldn't want to give a suggestion that offends you. That's not what this forum is about, is it? One must walk on the sunny side of the street, even when raindrops fall.
Lea, I couldn't disagree with you more. There is no arrogance here, only noting that there has been noticeable lack of civil dialogue.
I think this discussion has been rather flavorful! Thanks to all of you that have participated! Once in awhile, it's good to stir up the pot, so to speak. What has been the most frustrating is when one or two individuals claim to be able to teach others, and that they know what's up when others don't. "Good" writing has always been and will always be subjective. Pessimistic attitudes are completely deconstructive and do nothing except confuse and discourage.
Last edited by joshlisec; 04-30-2012 at 07:12 PM.
I'm not pessimistic and I don't like being labeled tbat by someone who doesn't know me. To me, pessimistic is a writer who doesn't listen. Every newbie writer who has ever posted here has always been enamored of their writing and had a firm belief about how 'good' they are. Even the good writers and even published writers have to be able to take criticism about their work without taking it personally. You are taking it personally and not listening to anyone except for the one who is defending you. So go ahead and say "bombarded by bullets." Every person I know with any military experience is going to laugh at that, then laugh at the author, and then put the book down because the author has already shown they don't know what they're talking about. So, josh, what military experience do you have to support your use of "bombard?"
Originally Posted by joshlisec
As for arrogance, comparing one's self to successful writers and using an outlandish statement of "well, they did it, so I can, too" shows you're trying too hard to be like them. Trying being yourself instead and use what will work for YOU.
Tanya, what military experience do you have to support this use of "bombard," aside from the dictionary? If you're going strictly by the dictionary, whether it's alliterative or not, doesn't mean it's the right way to use it. You've heard the term "he may be book smart but he still wouldn't make it in the real world?" That applies to this usage of 'bombard.'
And if a newbie writer is going to start out their career being rude to and insulting the very people who only wanted to help, then we all know most of those writers never make it. A writer has to grow a thick skin and be able to tolerate critique. If they can't, they usually aren't successful. And if a newbie writer only wants to hear from people who agree with them, there are plenty of other sites that won't tell him the truth, but will only pander to him and tell him how wonderful he is.
Please refrain from making passive-aggressive comments about the site or other members. If you have something to say about a member, please address them directly, or ignore them.
A critique is indeed subjective and so is the reception, but since you have invited the comments, you have to accept that you may not agree with all of them. If you do see that you are being attacked personally, report the post.
Originally Posted by joshlisec
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