I'm Carrie--a newbie. I don't know why I didn't see this forum before. I think my brain is fried from staring at this query letter for so long. I posted my original letter in the lit. agents forum, but obviously, it belongs here. (Thanks to Avonne and Lea who already gave some great advice.) I humbly appreciate any insights you can give me. Here goes:
Dear Mr. or Ms. ____,
Like most sixteen-year-old boys, Nathan Terras thinks a lot about girls and not so much about the nature of good and evil--until a near-death experience reveals he's to become the Antichrist.
Forget vampires, werewolves, and zombies. They're the lucky ones.
Nathan would love to wake from this nasty nightmare, except it's his enemies who are waking. They're coming for him, and they're not interested in a friendly game of Halo. They can be anyone--his classmates, friends, even his own family. To top it off, Nathan must deal a violent power growing inside him. He canít control it, and worse than thatópart of him starts to like it.
Nathan doesnít want to be a monster, but when his little brother disappears at the hands of those sworn to protect him, heíll do anything to get him back. By embracing his destiny, he can win the lives of those he loves. But what he loses may be so much more. The line between good and evil blurs, leaving Nathan wondering which side heís supposed to be on.
THE BECOMING is a young adult paranormal novel of 78,000 words with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration.
(I started out with the title ANTICHRIST 16: THE BECOMING, but thought it might frighten some agents off. Then I tried DEVIL'S SON: THE BECOMING, but that's morphed into just THE BECOMING. Yeah, I like to second guess myself. Do you have a preference?)
Thanks in advance to anyone with suggestions!