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  1. #21
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    Just make sure the date rape part is well written, Ty. The reader needs to understand and empathise with why she loves the guy even though he date raped her.



  2. #22
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    Thank you Lea for your honest open. Yes this story is about someone very close to me that this has happen to (and yes I have permission to write about it). Actually the whole storyline is based off true events. Yes, Ahlesha is a doormat in the beginning. But this story will tell of how she stopped being a foolish woman worth very low self-esteem and low self-worth, and how she gained self-esteem and character through her relationship with Sean, as well as finds a relationship with God. Also, through Sean's life, he shows Ahlesha what it means to have a man that treats a woman like a queen.

    Looking at my query letter again, I guess I didn't actually get that across. And yes, I know the grammar and punctuation sucks...that's been pointed out.

  3. #23
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    Gary, you say that people here would be surprised how many queries float on unfinished novels. What I'd like to know is, what percentage of those successful queries are by unpublished writers who aren't already well-known for something else.

    As an example, I'm fairly sure that the book The Two Georges was sold long before the first draft was finished. Of course, it was written by Richard Dreyfuss, and he had enough of an idea of what he was and wasn't capable of as a writer to enlist Harry Turtledove as a co-author.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Zeff View Post
    Gary, you say that people here would be surprised how many queries float on unfinished novels. What I'd like to know is, what percentage of those successful queries are by unpublished writers who aren't already well-known for something else.

    As an example, I'm fairly sure that the book The Two Georges was sold long before the first draft was finished. Of course, it was written by Richard Dreyfuss, and he had enough of an idea of what he was and wasn't capable of as a writer to enlist Harry Turtledove as a co-author.
    I didn't say the queries were successful. I said they were sent and received. From a first-time noncelebrity author, they are usually just tossed.

    But, yes, an author who has been quite successful with a book and did well with an agent and publisher usually doesn't have to do a submission ever again or write the book before pitching it. I don't, and I wouldn't call myself a big success in the marketplace. Usually their agent/publisher wants to know what they might have in advance and/or they just pitch an idea and everyone goes from there. I have seven plotlines in three different pen names that my publishers have already said yes to--when I can get them written. And, again, no one's pretending they will be blockbusters.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ty Waller View Post
    Also, through Sean's life, he shows Ahlesha what it means to have a man that treats a woman like a queen.
    Not sure if this is a plot issue or not but how does a guy who date rapes someone have any idea about treating a woman like a queen? Maybe I've mixed something up.

    DK

  6. #26
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    DK, umm, I don't think it Sean who did the date raping, it was Lenox Jaymes (with an 'x' in his first name and a 'y' in his last)—although the way this query is structured, that's an easy mistake to make.

  7. #27
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    Exactly: you have a track record, you've proven that you can take an idea and turn it into a novel worth publishing, so you don't have to wait until the book's finished to start looking for an agent and/or publisher. And, as you point out, most queries from unpublished, unknown writers trying to sell incomplete manuscripts are simply tossed.

    I think you'll agree, Gary, that the whole point of this forum is to help people write query letters that will make agents ask for more. From all I've ever heard, looking professional is a good way to do that, and mentioning that your book is complete simply doesn't look professional. Putting it in doesn't help and leaving it out can't (as I understand it) hurt, so it's probably best to leave it out.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe Zeff View Post
    Exactly: you have a track record, you've proven that you can take an idea and turn it into a novel worth publishing, so you don't have to wait until the book's finished to start looking for an agent and/or publisher. And, as you point out, most queries from unpublished, unknown writers trying to sell incomplete manuscripts are simply tossed.

    I think you'll agree, Gary, that the whole point of this forum is to help people write query letters that will make agents ask for more. From all I've ever heard, looking professional is a good way to do that, and mentioning that your book is complete simply doesn't look professional. Putting it in doesn't help and leaving it out can't (as I understand it) hurt, so it's probably best to leave it out.
    Ummm, no, that wasn't what I was posting at all. I didn't say the queries that were sent before the manuscript was done were successful. What I posted was that since queries are received for which the manuscripts aren't completed, I don't think it's unprofessional to give the assurance that the manuscript is completed when it is. It's only one word and it pins that question down (precisely because it's not true that everyone doesn't query until their fiction manuscript is completed). I don't think it's a rule that it should be done, but I don't think it's an unprofessional sin to do it. This is entirely different from what you've taken my post to say.

  9. #29
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    I think I've seen your point, Gary, and to be honest I'd never thought of it that way.

    I'll be querying in YA, which I'm sure is seeing a glut of poorly done manuscripts (many by young people, and yes, I fall into both the 'glut' and 'young' category, but hopefully not 'poorly done'). I'll bet that agents see quite a few non-complete queries, and I'd be relying on my wordcount (90K in a market where 110K can fly) to let the agent know it's finished. The assumption that any well-written query implies a well-written, complete novel may well not be a golden rule, in YA at least.

    Food for thought - maybe including that one word is an idea worth thinking about. I certainly don't see an agent tossing out a well-drafted query on that word alone. Thanks.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily MacGowan View Post
    I think I've seen your point, Gary, and to be honest I'd never thought of it that way.

    I'll be querying in YA, which I'm sure is seeing a glut of poorly done manuscripts (many by young people, and yes, I fall into both the 'glut' and 'young' category, but hopefully not 'poorly done'). I'll bet that agents see quite a few non-complete queries, and I'd be relying on my wordcount (90K in a market where 110K can fly) to let the agent know it's finished. The assumption that any well-written query implies a well-written, complete novel may well not be a golden rule, in YA at least.

    Food for thought - maybe including that one word is an idea worth thinking about. I certainly don't see an agent tossing out a well-drafted query on that word alone. Thanks.
    If you give the wordage that should do it. (But a lot of query letters don't do that.)

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