"Sins Of Birth: Welcome" Prologue
I'm thinking about scraping this entirely. I am finding that it is confusing readers and is not cohesive to the rest of the novel. Let me know your thoughts!
Sins of Birth:
Kyle J. Anderson
Itís the feeling you get once you realize you have been walking down Main Street completely naked. Itís the instantaneous feeling of rushing to find covering so no one will see, yet you hold back because you are intrigued by what might be said about you tomorrow. Itís the feeling of knowing you have total power while remaining innocently vulnerable and mind numbingly fragile. Having all these feelings can cripple a person.
But not me.
I thrive on the possibility of breaking someoneís moral makeup with just a glance. Iím the antichrist to a jarful of the inhabitants of this town. I donít attend church. I donít wear camouflage during the hunting season. I donít support my hometown sports team during Homecoming . . . or at any other time for that matter. Not doing any of these things makes me an automatic outsider, yet Iíve lived here for nearly 23 years. I guess there are just some people so infatuated with my personal life that they feel the need to save me and push their views onto me. My business becomes their business and they know nothing about me.
I mind my own business. I keep my head down at the grocery store and get out of there with my Doritos and diet coke before anyone has the chance to realize Iím there. Itís a shock that I used to work for this same grocery store that tightened its diaphragm every time I was in its vicinity. I guess this monstrous place of some ten odd aisles only accepts adulterers and perverts. The owner is known for seducing the underage female workers while going home to his wife at five pm like nothing is wrong. Heís also been seen rubbing his growing bulge at his desk while watching the pre-pubescent workers bend over in their skin tight jeans. He makes sure to train all new female employees extensively and reassures them that they can take off their sweaters to feel more comfortable.
And they call me the sinful one.
Me, the sinful one. If half the people in this town kept their stones to themselves and closed the drapes on their glass houses, we would all be better off. If half the people took a look at their own lives instead of worrying about others, theyíd come to find that they arenít so perfect after all. They claim to be hard asses, but when I enter their blind spots, they lose all focus and sweat profusely at the palms. They create more problems than resolve them and use religion as their means of warding off anyone who is different. Not just me, but anyone. They were the first to embrace my sister when she was staying at home but were also the first to reject her when they found out she was pregnant out of wedlock. Itís amazing at how different people act when they find out things like this. Itís even more amazing at how they try to avoid believing anything outside of the Bible yet pry and pry until their satisfaction is guaranteed.
Guaranteeing satisfaction is like telling someone the perfect lie. A perfect lie is like prayer. You can think about or do the most awful thing known to mankind, but if you pray for forgiveness after the fact, itís like it didnít happen. If people can keep praying for forgiveness and commit sin after sin, then why is there such a pressure to be sin free? Why is there this fabricated and mystical world that we all try to get into without actually knowing of its existence? We all seem to try so hard to fit into one idea of right or wrong while we lose our humility in the process.
The only thing I can guarantee is that Iím not going anywhere. If I have to face the gun squad every time I want to run errands in town, then I will. If I want to hold hands with my significant other while renting movies, I will. If I want to hate you every single day of my life until one of us dies, I will, but itís easier to forget about you entirely.
"A perfect lie is like prayer. You can think about or do the most awful thing known to mankind, but if you pray for forgiveness after the fact, it’s like it didn’t happen. If people can keep praying for forgiveness and commit sin after sin, then why is there such a pressure to be sin free?"
Just want to point out that my understanding is that forgiveness actually doesn't work like that. There are still consequences to your actions and restitution has to be made. Also, to be forgiven means that you have to forgive. Just sayin'
Yes, I know that now. I wrote this novel from an introspective place, during a time of uncertainty. The whole novel is a journey in the sense that the main character is finding himself and what he believes.
Originally Posted by Diane Theron