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  1. #1
    Amy Lou
    Guest

    Drowning in the Suburbs

    Do you guys mind if I join your little poetry club. This is something I wrote to help with a novel I want to start. It's my first attempt at poetry in forever, and it's kind of silly, but it was fun to write


    Drowning in the suburbs

    The kitty-corner neighbor
    is an alcoholic,
    owns a drug problem
    and two kids she doesn't want;
    a boy
    a girl.
    Married to Mr. Clueless;
    she's cheating with
    Mr. Well-endowed.
    She struts her thin frame;
    drives a minivan to the gym.
    One last puff on a cigarette stub;
    she's Mrs. Yoga.

    The neighbor who lives at the top of the hill
    is married to Mr. Well-endowed.
    She likes women;
    a haircut is her truth.
    Wearing a name tag that reads
    Devoted Friend,
    she disguises her affections.
    Drives a minivan
    to the house across the pavement river,
    promising devotion to a chameleon.

    And the chameleon who lives
    across the pavement river,
    is an alcoholic
    with an eating disorder.
    She adores her daughters
    and husband too,
    but can only be satisfied
    if he's dressed like Eric from True Blood:
    leather pants
    a wife beater.
    She struts a petite frame.
    Drives a minivan to the gym.
    After purging breakfast,
    and one last puff on a cigarette stub,
    she's Mrs. Pilates.

    The cul-de-sac neighbor,
    a laggard with a golden heart,
    owns a little boy.
    He likes to hit.
    She's living with a man
    who pays to change her,
    because he likes to be the caboose.
    She struts a mommy makeover,
    drives a minivan to the gym.
    She's Mrs. Zumba.

    And what about me?
    I don't smoke,
    only drink on occasion
    and never go to the gym.
    I'm drowning in the suburbs.



  2. #2
    Senior Member Diane Theron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    305
    Amy - really got your characters down well. I really love this line - it is so unusually descriptive of a type:

    owns a drug problem and two kids she doesn't want;

    My 5c

  3. #3
    Amy Lou
    Guest
    Thanks Diane, I appreciate you looking it over. It really did help in getting some of my characters into place. These are the kind of women I meet everyday, I'm sure you know a few as well. Have a great day!

  4. #4
    martin shaw
    Guest

  5. #5
    Amy Lou
    Guest
    Hey, cool song Martin. Shame on me, but I've never heard of the Skids. I love the Ramones and they sounded a little like them to me.

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