Fat Cat Syndrome - Critique

[Amy Lou]

Thanks Jena


I am sorry I ever posted this

[leslee]

Amy, you didn't do anything wrong.

[Amy Lou]

Thanks girl : )

[Jena Grace]

Amy Abig Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thanks Jena
>
>
> I am sorry I ever posted this


YOU have nothing to apologize for.

[Keith .]

Amy, you posted this piece exactly where you should have. No apologies.

[Amy Lou]

Yeah, but I just wish it would go away. Someone else post something please! Maybe I'll go comment on 20 other posts and this one will disappear.

It's not written well and has gotten some jumping to conclusions with religious assumptions about perverted preachers. I had no idea that a poorly written post about a pastor would cause problems. Hey, maybe I'm on to something after all. 8-)

Thanks Keith, Jena and Leslee

[Jena Grace]

Hey, no point in writing anything if you can't piss someone off!

[Author Pendragin]

@Jena,

Correct. However, it was in response to lea's comment on and in relation to the thread. I bring the rest up merely to show it's cliche'd. Agreed, it's her character, however, her writing is original, but the MC's thinking, in this case, has a distinct been there done that feel.

@Leslee,

It's not personal, if it relates to the topic of the thread, which is the story.

@Amy,

Chill, it seems like your MC isn't the only one going through angst. I was in a bit of a sour mood when I originally posted. Keith, Cur, and Leslee gave you feedback, use it. Sol Stien's "On Writing" is a great book. Nobody said you were the most horrible writer in the world, the storyline is cliche'. There's a huge difference. Cliche' comes from a french word for the sound that a matrix makes when dipped in molten metal. Speaking of matrices, think about what "bullettime", an effect first used in the movie 'The Matrix', has done to television. It's not that the shows using "bullettime" are bad or unoriginal, in and of themselves, it's that the anti-gravity, slow-mo, effect has been beat to death and beyond. I think, the part about the dress was the first part I noticed it. All that's being said is: do something original.

[Lea Zalas]

And just for the record, I usually agree with Author. Still like him, too!

And Amy, anytime a post gets this much response, that's not a bad thing. It would be bad if you posted and no one responded. That's the day you'll know that what you posted didn't interest anyone enough to even post a "Meh." The fact that you've generated this much controversy with your excerpt shows that it got people to thinking.

[Author Pendragin]

@ Lea

Well, I like you too

@Amy

Lea is right, you did get people thinking.