Drayden [s]stepped out through the door[/s] walked out
, the argument still ringing in his ears. He shivered. His eyes began to water. He rubbed and blew his hands whilst increasing his pace. Aching fingers retreated into his pockets and emerged with a pair of black gloves. [s]He glared at the road for a few seconds.[/s] [s]Admiring the bleak trees he dragged his feet across.[/s] Without looking, he stepped into the road.
"Watch it!" [s]shouted a deep voice.[/s]
Drayden realised he stood in the middle of the road, a car metres away from him. The driver [s]pressed[/s] pounded
his horn [s]several times[/s].
"Alright." Drayden saidperiod
[s]as[/s] he scuttled [s]over[/s]across the road
,clutching his school bag.
The [s]arguement[/s] argument
[s]flooded back into his head[/s] ran through his mind, endlessly repeating.
. He remembered his motherapostrophe
s eyes streaming with tears. His stomach curdled with guilt. Trying to [s]take his mind off things,[/s] cliche forget works better,
he stared at decaying leaves [s]freezing[/s] frozen
in the ice. Something soft touched his shoulder. An old man.
"Sorry." said Drayden as he stepped to the side [s]and raised his head to see the figure[/s] Unnecessary.
"No worries" replied the old man with a smile. A wily smile. Drayden had seen that smile before [s]but he couldn't remember where.[/s] cliche Unnecessary, anyway.
He walked on, then paused. He turned around. [s]He saw no-one.[/s] redundant
Where [s]an[/s] the old man had
[s]was nothing, except[/s] a pigeon [s]in his last footprint[/s] pecked at the icy ground.
.He closed his eyes, and opened them again. The bird was gone. [s]He frowned, shook his head and return to his journey.[/s] Redundant. In the next para, he's trudging up a hill.
He trudged up a hill, panting. He skipped over [s]especially[/s] useless
icy patches [s]consequently moving next to the road[/s]. [s]A mixture of holiday and morning lethargy stopped him from moving faster[/s] You said trudged earlier, so you already said he moved slowly.
Eventually he reached a petrol station. He leant on a wall, smoke coming from his mouth. The wind blew his grey hair [s]revealing eyes[/s] Don't know what you meant there, but it didn't work.
New paragraph for emphasis
Drayden had always had grey hair.