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  1. #1
    martin shaw

    This one has chocolate in it, good morning. It's the best I can do

    I’m going to die of carbon monoxide poisoning from Lionel Richies ****t.

    I have been listening to Lionel Richie.
    His smooth, cough mixture throat
    is now a flat arable countryside
    growing nothing but turnips.

    What ever did we see in him?
    Except another turnip,
    that’s upside down
    with its goaty root,
    like in one of those funny German toilets
    when you have a massive ****t,
    and it tickles your bollocks.

    ‘What a feeling,
    when your dancin’ on the ceiling.’

    What was he?
    A fuccking circus flea?

    His face is now even longer than before:
    a canoe, even!
    And he’s had his ears pulled back,
    making his taught cheeks shine.
    When you flick them
    they sound like a drum,

    But those famous blown up lilo Lionel lips,
    they’re still the same,
    filled with chicky fat,
    bloating them to five million pounds per square inch;
    they’re a couple of obese slugs,
    fed on fried chocolate lettuce.
    I’m going to poor an evil ring of sea salt around them,
    so they explode on first tentative contact,
    as an octopus would,
    escaped from Waterworld,
    and crossing a minefield.

    It is more interesting to ponder
    how many ****t’s
    Lionels ****ted, since his biggest hit,
    All Night Long,
    and how big his ****t mountain would be

    But I am dying now, as I weigh in his turds.
    He’s squeezed out all different shapes and sizes.
    One of them looks like a lady.
    I’ve put her with the other two I found.

    ‘Pwaaah! Fuccking hell! It’s too much in the centre!
    I’m dying now, everybody.
    Sing to me, Hardy.

    ‘Holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty!
    God in three Persons, blessed Trinity!
    Cherubim and seraphim falling down before Thee,
    Who was, and is, and evermore shall be.’

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011

    Re: This one has chocolate in it, good morning. It's the best I can do

    Thanks for utilising the theme. I meant it as a kind of continuous gaming thread - that's why I call it a relay where everyone just keeps conversing to each other back and forth in poetry only as opposed to composing reviews and the like. It's not bad your rendition here. I like it.

  3. #3
    martin shaw

    Re: This one has chocolate in it, good morning. It's the best I can do

    Whoops, but thanks

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011

    Re: This one has chocolate in it, good morning. It's the best I can do

    You had me laughing so hard when I read this that I was crying.
    “Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light.”
    -Joseph Pulitzer

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