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Thread: Sergeants

  1. #11
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Sergeants

    Al, there are front lines all over. A front line is an ambulance driver, knee deep in a road traffic accident, or a fireman, burning down a house, so the one next door has an entrance for him to clamber through... save the kittens! And the boys and girls at large today, they are us, as we once were. They are 'us' goddamit! And as God is my judge... there is spirit left in me, yet. There is no enemy, just what is right. There is no enemy, just land and sea. There is only us, as one!



  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    689

    Re: Sergeants

    Al, I didn't read your post. It was too long for the time I have. So I can't comment on the quality of your writing.

    I can comment, confidently, there are plenty of books published every year about soldiering. There's a steady market for the books. I know 'cuz I read 'em. Don't worry about whether anyone will be interested. Everything will depend on the quality of your writing.

    You received kudos above. That suggests your writing is up to standard.

    My question is whether you see your tale as a series of vignettes or a full account of your time in the service. If you're thinking vignettes, that may be too much like a collection of short stories. That's a tough sell. OTOH, if your voice is strong enough, even that's not out of the question.

    Feel free to ignore my comments. I'm wrong often enough to be dead solid certain it'll happen again.

    Cur

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    689

    Re: Sergeants

    Martin,

    You wrote, "You show restraint, which I cant do." Actually, you have been lately. Good job. (No, I'm not being condescending or sarcastic.)

    Your reply to Al, time-stamped 4:38 PM was good. It evoked emotion and was understandable.

    I'm not a guru anyone should pay particular attention to. I do spend a lot of time reading and critiquing, though. There's been a sea change (pardon the stupid cliche) in your posts.

    Cur

  4. #14
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Sergeants

    Hey thanks, Cur

  5. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    24

    Re: Sergeants

    Curmudgeon, I'm afraid the pieces are vignettes, just random little things that got stuck in my memory. And I don't ignore any comments, regardless of whether I agree or not. I appreciate people who take the time to read and leave their thoughts. Thanks.

  6. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    90

    Re: Sergeants

    Al, I think it's very nicely written--clear straightforward voice, good rhythm, a logical flow, well-structured--the piece has "good bones."

    "The more I think about putting this collection together the more I might be wasting my time. What I mean is, we have young people fighting and dying in two wars at the moment. Who would want to read about some old fuds cold-war memories?"

    If you find the universal in the particulars, readers will be interested. War, battle, is a universal, eternal human dilemma.

    I assume you've read John Keegan's "The Face of Battle?" I just finished it. A-blanking-mazing.

    Are you familiar with Steven Pressfield's work about ancient Greece, and Alexander the Great?

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