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  1. #31
    Cat
    Guest

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    Alright, Author, rewrite it like that, post it here, and absolution will be granted.

    Victoria, yes, I think that would do it.



  2. #32
    Cat
    Guest

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    Author Pendragin Wrote:
    -------------------------------------------------------
    > I was going
    > to write on that, the intuition, and it was going
    > to be the focal point. I got too absorbed in
    > details trying to shift the focus . . . I
    > should've focused on her intuition and seeing the
    > world through her eyes.

    By George, I think he's got it!

  3. #33
    Senior Member Victoria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    525

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    OK, the edit window has been extended to 30 minutes.
    Writers.Net Moderator

  4. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    688

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    @Cat,

    That's how I was originally going to write it. That's one of the reasons for the opening hook. I think the hook should give some preview for the rest of the story, that's why I wrote it like that. The details got in my way.

    @Frank,

    Good Idea about the sentences.

    @Victoria

    What's the link to access my profile?

  5. #35
    Senior Member Victoria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    525

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    Click Here to access your profile.
    Writers.Net Moderator

  6. #36
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    688

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    Thanks Victoria.

  7. #37
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    142

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    Cat:
    Stop trying to write "literature" and start telling stories - stories!

    The best (and I mean the absolute best) advice. Not just for you Author but for a lot of writers that I've read recently.

  8. #38
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,016

    Re: Not sure what to make of it...

    "Assemble the minions" -- Gru. Despicable me.

    That's an improvement?

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