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Thread: On Instamatic

  1. #1
    martin shaw
    Guest

    On Instamatic

    Click on the picture




    On Instamatic



    Itís her,

    the girl.

    Who?

    Her!

    You know?

    The girl!

    Over there in the sunbonnet.


    Get the camera,

    quick,

    the camera!


    What for?

    Because she cries.

    But she isnít crying.

    She suffers inside.

    Eh?


    Just gimmeí the camera.

    Thanks.


    Sheís beautiful,

    like a china doll.



    Sheís not.

    Eh?

    Just watch this.



    Did you get her?

    Definitely, yes.

    Letís have a look then.

    Hold on, Iíve got to warm it up.



    There.

    What-is-that?

    Ectoplasm.

    Ecto- what?

    Ectoplasm.

    Spiritual energy.

    What like a ghost?

    Yup.

    She hasnít spoken since her husband died.

    Is that supposed to be her husband then?

    Yup.

    Her husband!

    Yup.

    She cries her husband from her eyes?

    Uhuh.

    Spooky.

    Literally.

    Sheís still beautiful though.



  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    24

    Re: On Instamatic

    O.K., Martin, things are not always what they seem. It reminds me of the basement scene in 'Psycho' when the rocking chair is spun around and... Your dialogue-driven piece is eerie and off-center, as I'm sure you intended. I couldn't quite get a handle on 'Is that supposed to be her husband then?' 'She cries her husband from her eyes?' was a good line, and 'She's still beautiful, though,' seemed a perfect last line for this inside-out little piece. It could be expanded into a longer piece, but then too many more words might dilute it. I enjoyed it as is.

  3. #3
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: On Instamatic

    thanks al, you're too kind. the second person was in italics , but was lost in transit

  4. #4
    Amy Lou
    Guest

    Re: On Instamatic

    I enjoyed it too!

  5. #5
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: On Instamatic

    Thanks, Amy

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