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  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    40

    Re: And Then She Left.... (Part 1)

    @John

    First of all, thank you for taking your time out reading this and then,replying.
    I appreciate it. I think you have more of a problem with what I write and now HOW I WRITER, correct?

    I accept, the first sentence SUCKS. I am trying to really come up with a better one for this same story. There are some in my mind but nothing that stands out.

    As for other things like... everything looked different all of a sudden... well this was explained in the next line(para). The character was used to seeing his living room dead because he lives with his wife and daughter. When he returns his daughter is in her room doing her work and he is not on good terms with his wife. He is like a loser who feels dead inside. I personally think this does suit here but I respect your opinion.

    I shall try coming up with something better in future and hopefully you will also like it.



  2. #12
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    6

    Re: And Then She Left.... (Part 1)

    I liked it. It was the title that made it more enjoyable though because I kept waiting for her to say the word "divorce" at the dinner table and it never came. Made me as reader want more. (Well at least I think that's where this is going. lol)

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