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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2010
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    21

    Runaways Query Letter

    Dear Ms or Mr. Agent,

    I am seeking representation on my Young Adult, Paranormal Romance, RUNAWAYS.

    The magical world is trying to hunt down, seventeen-year-old, shadowarine fairy, Felicity Taylor.

    Felicity is accused of murdering her roommate, Mary Swan. Brooks, her appointed guardian, steals her away before the magical council can punish her. Now, a fugitive among her own kind, they take residence with the humans, hoping no one will discover them.

    In order to take back her freedom, Felicity must find Mary's killer. But the truth lies within Edinburgh where the magical council resides. Determined to clear her name, she goes to the magical council's lair. There she finds a scroll foretelling her destined path and the real reason the council wants her dead. Felicity feels she will never be free again. With the help of Brooks and some friends, together they will stop what’s foretold to come. Even if fate calls her to do what’s wrong. RUNAWAYS is complete at 65,000 words.

    I am an active member of the YALITCHAT writing community.
    Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.



  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    584

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    Your first sentence is redundant; agents know why you're sending them a query. And, most people agree that it's not a good idea to mention that your book's complete if you want to look professional.

    BTW, "complete" doesn't mean "I've finished the first draft." It means that you've edited, rewritten and polished your MS until it gleams. If you haven't, you're not ready to query.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2010
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    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    "The magical world is trying to hunt down, seventeen-year-old, shadowarine fairy, Felicity Taylor."

    I don't understand your use of commas in this sentence. Maybe it's a typo?

  4. #4
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2010
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    21

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    Thanks Joe. I know what complete means BTW. DUR's. So, yes, it's complete and no, it's not a first draft.

    Leslee thanks. Was there anything else that you two think should be added or I should go into detail about? That's all I really want, because Laura Bradford and Jessica Faust already requested material from this query. But Just because two out of ten request things doesn't mean it's perfect.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    Hey, if you're getting a good response to this Q, why mess with it?

  6. #6
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2010
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    21

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    because 2 out of 10 is a ****ty ratio number. that means 1 out of five people request material. those numbers Blow if you are querying for paranormal romance. there is less than 100 agents in the catagory. Yes I did research and yes, I like math like a dork addicted to the show numb3rs. lol.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2010
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    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    "because 2 out of 10 is a ****ty ratio number"

    Rosa, you really don't know how wrong you are. It isn't considered a low number at all for query letter responses. You're doing better than you think.

    But there's nothing wrong with trying to improve it, if that's what you want to do.

  8. #8
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2010
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    21

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    Yes, I'd like to impove it. If I had more agents to query like if it was just for example literary Fiction **** I wouldn;t care as much because there is larger numbers. There for the hit miss ratio would win out with a 1 out 5 response. but in paranormal romance HA the ration needs to be a little higher in order to have more of a chance. say for instance 1 out 3 that is ten times better. More material tossed out there like worms on a hook. I need to quit babbling. I am starting to sound redundant. goodness.

    But yes the idea is to improve it so my numbers increase, if that makes sense.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    Aug 2010
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    6,016

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    You certainly do enjoy the word ****, don't you?

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    21

    Re: Runaways Query Letter

    Possibly my favorite curse word LOL that and the F'bomb- but I only use that when I am really ticked off

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