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  1. #1
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    Revised query letter

    Hello everyone. Thank you all so much for your past advice and comments. They were very helpful. I have written another query incorporating the past suggestions, and if you have any suggestions, please feel free to say them! Here is he query:


    A story of love, betrayal, and redemption, the novel traces the entangled lives of three war-damaged people stranded in an abandoned villa in the midst of the Guatemalan Civil War.

    The anthropologist Matt tries to reinvent himself after enduring years of torture and imprisonment because of a false accusation. Estella, a former spy, obsessively cares for her only surviving victim in an effort to atone for her bloody past. At the center is Katie, a writer who had risked her life to save a lover—only to be rejected by him. Alone and depressed, she finds comfort by probing their interweaving pasts, writing a haunting memoir that she only comes to terms with half a century later.

    The characters of Matt, Estella and Katie are explored in great detail as their histories are gradually revealed.



  2. #2
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    Re: Revised query letter

    Hello. I changed:

    "The anthropologist Matt tries to reinvent himself after enduring years of torture and imprisonment because of a false accusation."

    To

    "The anthropologist Matt tries to reinvent himself after enduring years of torture and imprisonment due to a false accusation."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Keith .'s Avatar
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    Re: Revised query letter

    ________________________________________________

    People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
    - Bob Dylan

  4. #4
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    Re: Revised query letter

    Mat, your first sentence is supposed to capture the reader's attention and make them want to read more. Yours doesn't. Try starting off by showing us (not telling us) something about the love and betrayal.

  5. #5
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    Re: Revised query letter

    Joe Zeff Wrote:
    -------------------------------------------------------
    > Mat, your first sentence is supposed to capture
    > the reader's attention and make them want to read
    > more. Yours doesn't. Try starting off by showing
    > us (not telling us) something about the love and
    > betrayal.

    Thank you for that advice and I am working on that. However, what do you think about the rest of the query? Thanks so much

  6. #6
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    Re: Revised query letter

    The rest of the query tells us about things that happen in your novel, but never shows us anything.

  7. #7
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    Re: Revised query letter

    Thanks for explaning

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