a little feedback for ?

[martha shmokler]

Thanks for all previous and help to come.

1. I have tried to convey to all parents to go with your gut instinct about your
child's education.

2. My daughter had a/b grade average. Yet, I felt something is wrong. I felt it with my gut.

3. My daughter's diagnosis is : specific learning disabled. (this means:
means a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written)

4. I was lucky that i found a teacher/bear that was willing to help me out.

Now that you understand a little bit. Do you have tips?

Thanks,
Martha

I am trying to rewrite and would like feedback. I am working on my query letter
the best that I can. I'm sorry if you all agree that you won't give me feedback
for whatever reason. Who else or where else where I may go on the net for help?

I think my book is pretty good but would like a reader. Where may I find one that is not so expensive?

thanks again

[Keith .]

I am trying to rewrite and would like feedback. I am working on my query letter
the best that I can. I'm sorry if you all agree that you won't give me feedback
for whatever reason. Who else or where else where I may go on the net for help?

Martha, who refused to give you feedback? I don't recall anyone here blowing you off.

Now that you understand a little bit. Do you have tips?

It sounds like you're asking for someone to write your query for you. If you're bound and determined, then you can find such services on the internet. I suggest you post your first 2 pages in the craft forum first, though, to make sure your manuscript doesn't need the same work that your query needs. Luck.

[Author Pendragin]

I'm by no means an expert Martha, I'm learning the same as you. From what I've seen through some of your last posts, your story doesn't lack inherent value, but your query isn't formatted properly. Instead of describing the actual story in your query, you seem to be writing on the completely different topic of why parents should appreciate kids with disabilities. You've just told us why we should read your book, not what your book is about. If I'm not mistaken, the purpose of a query is to get attention from a potential agent so that they can represent you to a publisher. You should ask yourself some questions such as: who are the main characters of your novel? What do they do? What are the contents of the story? We know about disabled kids, now introduce us to the particular disabled kid that you're writing about. Here's a look at a previous post.

Remember that a parent is responsible for the education of your child. (Ok, what does that have to do with the novel?) Now that you have read my story, I hope that you will take action to go with your own trust and belief in yourself to advocate for your children.(How can an agent already have read your story? The whole reason you're writing this is to introduce them to it, and you haven't done that yet.) Unfortunately in this world, it seems like all people that have an obvious physical impairment are given the help immediately. I stepped out and looked in to my life and knew that there must be a way of getting help for my seemingly average child(ren). ( Once again, nothing to do with the story.)

Try to write your query about the events of the novel itself.

[martha shmokler]

No, I'm sorry you misunderstood (I want to do all of my own work). I thought well. I AM TRYING TO WRITE MY QUERY by myself. I am looking at different query examples and your feedback.
I am trying hard and can't tell what is wrong with what I have written on my queries. I am rewriting query now.

I guess DK sort of told me if I don't
DK POSTED BELOW:
Please please please do some research on how to write a QL. If you keep posting work that clearly shows you haven't done your homework, people will stop responding. In my opinion, Mark is blowing sunshine up your a$$ and misleading you. Throw this one out and start over. You want a one-liner that summarizes your book then a para (or two) outlining the conflict

I am trying again. I thought my book was written fine. Now, I think ugh now what? I do not want to give up.

Thanks again, Martha

[John Hawkwood]

Martha,

"I thought my book was written fine."

That, in a nutshell, in as concise and efficient a form as I have ever seen it, is the dilemma of the writer. To wit: there is no rote way to learn how to be a good writer, and thus there is no way to easily predict and identify what you DON'T know about how to write well. You think your book is well-written (not "written fine," I'm compelled to note), and how could you think otherwise? When you don't know something about writing, you don't KNOW that you don't know it, so you don't realize that it's lacking in your writing. Catch-22.

The solution? Read. Write. Read some more. Submit for criticism. Read even more. Take the criticism you've received and consider it and learn from it. Oh, and read. Maybe take a class on writing. And write.

What people are trying to convey is this: some of the problems in your query attempts are basic writing problems. If you don't notice them in your query attempts, odds are you haven't noticed them in your manuscript. So your book may not be written well, and you may need to learn more about writing so that you can figure out HOW it's not written well, so you can rewrite the book, so that then you will have something you can write a proper query about...

There is one consolation: you know that feeling you have when you think you've written something well, and then you find out there are all these things you have to consider that you didn't even know about, and you have to learn about these things before you can rewrite what you've written so it might actually turn out to be written well? That sort of sinking feeling in your gut, combined with a sort of high, heady feeling from having touched an area of knowledge you never even knew existed?

That's what it feels like to be an aspiring writer.

We've all been there. Most of us are still there. Good luck.

JH

[martha shmokler]

Thank you everyone.

I am not sure about my writiing as you can see. I think that it is usually fine.
I am not sure where the pages might not be correct or what I've tried to convey.

I just don't want to give up.

Thanks again
Martha

[martha shmokler]

Thank you everyone.

I am not sure about my writiing as you can see. I think that it is usually fine.
I am not sure where the pages might not be correct or what I've tried to convey.

I just don't want to give up.

Thanks again
Martha

[D K]

Martha,

Don't give up. Read a bunch of QL's that hit the mark and use them as a guide. If you go to agentquery.com or to Query Shark they both have samples of QLs that worked. We know they're not easy to write, keep at it.

DK

[Mat An]

Hello martha,

Here are some samples of successful query letters.

http://www.charlottedillon.com/QuerySamples.html

I came across this and it really helped me.