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  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    508

    Re: Sublime Sentence Exercise

    Jeanne, yes, thank you. I do think the solid and ethereal mixing here is part of what makes this sentence great and makes it lean toward this transforming feeling. I'm going to try to apply this notion of balancing heavy and light images as well as showing and telling, toss in an unexpected adjective or adverb and see what I get.

    John H, I love your sentences. Not good at analyzing, but the rhythm is great, all the repeated "o" and "oo" sounds work with the images to give a slimy feel. Somehow you feel you're being read to with this sentence. Why is that?

    Joe, sorry to call you a dumbhead. Somehow, in German it felt like a joke to me, too, but I guess I misjudged.

    I surrender to you meh types. You're too strong and certain for me. I'll leave you alone.



  2. #12
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Sublime Sentence Exercise

    John Hawkwood Wrote:
    -------------------------------------------------------
    > I know nothing about C K aside from what I've seen
    > on the boards (both under her present and former
    > forum names), but I can say with pretty high
    > assurance that she's not martin shaw.
    >



    I donít post finished works on Writing Craft, Casey!

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    584

    Re: Sublime Sentence Exercise

    Apology accepted, although I wasn't actually offended.

  4. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    16

    Re: Sublime Sentence Exercise

    She felt tender toward herself?
    I will leave the literary stuff to the highly acclaimed writers on WN.

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