HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 11 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 107

Thread: Armed With...

  1. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    6,016

    Re: Armed With...

    " . . . I'm a sucker for cheese, there's no such thing as too much cheese!"

    I'm with you, Raven. I like cheese on cheese on cheese.



  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    83

    Re: Armed With...

    Ah Leslee! any time you're in Melbourne, you are more than welcome ot join me for a cheese/wine feast!

  3. #23
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Armed With...

    C K Wrote:
    -------------------------------------------------------

    > Anyone else got an idea about what makes this
    > sentence work? How to apply that to your WIP?

    For the record I already use semicolons and such when I feel like it. I could probably find an example, but I'm not that bored yet.

    You could always try doing one of those things where you write a paragraph of a story and then other people are supposed to continue the story. We can't post pics so I guess you can't do a caption contest. Sometimes I like playing the Hangman game on Critique Circle. Except it's so annoying when you get a really short word like 3 or 4 letters. I mean if you get _AT how many words could that be? Bat, Cat, Fat, Mat, Pat, Rat, Sat, Vat...by the time you guess all of those you're hanged!

  4. #24
    Senior Member Keith .'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    The latex sales division of Vandelay Industries
    Posts
    1,248

    Re: Armed With...

    No, I just meant a little bit of the soup. My wife and I split a bowl.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-crab_soup

    Funny, I didn't realize it was regional to SC until just now in that article, but it is wonderful.
    ________________________________________________

    People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
    - Bob Dylan

  5. #25
    Senior Member Frank Baron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,168

    Re: Armed With...

    Now I'm hungry.

    And I might, just a little, be missing ****WhiteLiar....

  6. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Rhinebeck, NY
    Posts
    4,623

    Re: Armed With...

    You too Frank? :-)

    *_*

  7. #27
    Senior Member Lea Zalas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Southern Georgia
    Posts
    1,756

    Re: Armed With...

    C K Wrote:
    -------------------------------------------------------
    > Walter would never never say "rich"; and indeed
    > the word "wealthy," as he says it, is redolent of
    > a life spiced and sumptuous, a tapestry thick to
    > the touch and shot through with the bright thread
    > of freedom.

    It's a single sentence and you took seven sentences to describe what you thought about it and what it meant to you. I find that when people use more words to talk about a sentence than what the sentence contained, it means they have probably ascribed more emotion and/or meaning to it than the writer did.

    It's one of the reasons why my teachers could make lit class (which I did love the reading part) so easy to sleep through.

    If someone posted a sentence like that for critique on this forum, we'd all probably tell them to quit being so flowery/wordy/presumptuous/redundant, and take out all the extra wording. Plus, we'd tell them it's a really boring sentence. Just my take on it. I agree with Rogue - this sentence rates a "Meh".

  8. #28
    Senior Member John Oberon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    3,063

    Re: Armed With...

    CK,

    Back to your original post: Walter would never never say "rich"; and indeed the word "wealthy," as he says it, is redolent of a life spiced and sumptuous, a tapestry thick to the touch and shot through with the bright thread of freedom.

    I don’t like the sentence myself – pretty words, but words mean things, you know.

    So when this particular fellow says the word “wealthy”, it smells, or has the fragrance not only of “a life spiced and sumptuous”, but of “a tapestry thick to the touch and shot through with the bright thread of freedom”. That’s some impressive halitosis, lol. The only thing that a person could smell in all that fluff is a “spiced” life. The rest deals with touch or sight, not smell. What does a tapestry smell like? What is the scent of sumptuousness? Or freedom? Of course, I realize the author’s trying to use poetic language to create a feeling or mood, but I think this is a pretty weak and pathetic metaphor indeed.

    Since the metaphor deals with how this fellow SAYS the word “wealthy”, I think the metaphor should deal with this fellow’s viewpoint of wealth exclusively through sound. In other words, you can hear what this fellow thinks of wealth when he says the word “wealthy”. In the original sentence, it sounds like Walter cares not so much about the money of wealth, but the freedom to enjoy the best and most of life. So something like this:

    Walter would never never say "rich"; and indeed the word "wealthy," as he says it, rings with freedom and joy muffled by hushed power and exclusivity.

    See that? Ring, muffle, hush…all sound metaphor based on what someone hears when Walter says “wealthy”. THAT’S a good metaphor.

  9. #29
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Armed With...

    Yeah you're a much better writer than Walker Percy...

  10. #30
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Rhinebeck, NY
    Posts
    4,623

    Re: Armed With...

    "Muffled" and "hushed" are adjectives meaning the same thing. I dunno...I'm having trouble picturing that sentence.

    *_*

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts