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  1. #61
    Sam English

    Re: How does this come across? #2

    "I don't know where you get the idea that I have a problem with the words mickey or nads or sexuality or nudity or anything like that."
    John, you're kidding, right?

  2. #62
    John Oberon

    Re: How does this come across? #2


    Well, I don't see anywhere that I said I had a problem with the words themselves except as they relate to context. In fact, I said if the fellow were out with his drinking buddies, they'd fit just fine. But in this context, they grate horribly.

    It's the same with sexuality or nudity. In the right context, they're fine

    Good grief, Sam, God invented our bodies and sexuality. Why would I have a problem with it?

  3. #63
    Paul Macky

    Re: How does this come across? #2

    Hi Debbi and everyone.

    What's good and what's bad? Who knows? Writing is a form of self expression and the question is does it express your personality and who you are?

  4. #64
    Book Werm

    Re: How does this come across? #2

    Deb, I think I was the first poster and said the writing is lovely, which it is. This is this particular narrator's voice. If he turns some people off, they will not continue. Others will connect.

    I would have added, if time permitted then, that there was some wordiness (who wanted to go and swim outside--as opposed to people who swam outside in freezing, etc.) but I figured you would find that when editing.

    So now that I have time to add, be watchful of that foible we all share,I will also say that I don't understand other writers who tell you to change a voice with which you are comfortable.

  5. #65
    Debbi Voisey

    Re: How does this come across? #2

    Thanks Book Werm (and Paul Macky, and everyone else who contributed to this thread).

    I believe there is no such thing as a perfect writer, because there is always something that someone will dislike. Reading is a personal thing, and ones preferences are ones own.

    But, I posted this to see how it would make people feel and - I guess - react, because isn't that what we want to do with our words?

    It certainly got people thinking (and arguing) so I am taking that as a positive and running with it.

    And yes, you are right of course, I will change specifics in the edit (the 9th or 10th!).

    But I actually like my voice I should do; I've worked hard enough to find it and it was tough work over the years. When I first started to post on this forum 11 (yes 11) years ago, I had the drive and the enthusiasm and, I believe, the good story ideas, but my writing was terrible.

    But if you have that "thing" within you (people call it a gift but I'm not so sure), then with hard work you will find your voice and find a way to clean up what you have done.

    I am happy with my progess - although I still have a lot to learn, Again, thank you all who commentesd on this thread. It became the hottest topic on this forum for a while!! LOL


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