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Thread: Any good?

  1. #11
    Charles Simon
    Guest

    Re: Any good?

    Sorry, missed a bit:

    Example in third person POV, switching between characters:

    "Jonas lit a cigarette. 'I wonder what Sarah is up to in Timbuktu', he thought."

    Next chapter:

    "Sarah stopped by a shop window. 'What a lovely straw hat', she thought."

    Next chapter:

    "Jonas lit another cigarette. 'I wonder if Sarah has bought herself a straw hat yet', he thought."

    Etc.



  2. #12
    John Hawkwood
    Guest

    Re: Any good?

    Charles, wait just a minute.

    Did she buy the hat?

    I'm on the edge of my seat, here!

  3. #13
    Charles Simon
    Guest

    Re: Any good?

    Heck I don't know. Ask Will, it's his story. I just hijacked it for a little while. And my guess is that Will will edit Sarah out of the story before she have had the time to decide on the hat... in fact, she may already be dead and buried.

    Lovely hat though. Still a good buy if you happen to be in Timbuktu.

  4. #14
    Charles Simon
    Guest

    Re: Any good?

    has

  5. #15
    Will Prendergast
    Guest

    Re: Any good?

    Ha I'll see if I can fit Sarah and her hat into the story.

    Thanks for the help, hopefully the next section I post will be better

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    688

    Re: Any good?

    Will, it's obvious that you posted this because you are unsure of your status as a writer. The best option, that you can take from this story, is to note what's good, what's bad, and how to clearly establish a connection with your reader, and then to try to write from there. My guess is that you certainly going to be told this excerpt is overwritten, because it is. In essence, everything you've said basically amounts to the fact that it was a dark and stormy night.

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